Are you having wedding dress regrets? It’s ok, you can tell us. Nowadays, ‘I’ve found the one’ doesn’t just mean your future spouse – it’s now the dress too! The wrong choice could lead to tears and disappointment. What to do?
It’s undeniable – the dress is always the THING. It’s what many brides look forward to the most. It’s when they get to be the princess for a day. It’s a secret best kept from the fiancé(e), not just because of bad luck and all that, but because of the ‘wow’ factor. So you go to the store, try on several dresses. Maybe you get swept away by compliments, or the sales girl says it’s the last one and comes with a discount, or maybe it’s your 12th store and you still haven’t hit the jackpot, but the one you have on right now seems sort of better than all others. You pay a deposit, you go home, you go to bed with niggles, and by the time you wake up, they’ve turned into major regrets.
You don’t like your wedding dress.
‘I should have known’, many brides say. ‘I didn’t cry when I put it on’. Well, tears aren’t an indicator of a successful shopping trip. Your mam probably cried at every dress you tried on, and that would lead to bankruptcy. The crying thing is yet another expectation that brides got stuck on somehow (akin to an engagement ring having to cost two months’ salary – a genius marketing ploy by De Beers).
The truth is, there are millions of wedding dresses out there, with literally hundreds of thousands of new ones being made every year. Don’t you think finding ‘the one’ among them might be a wee bit of a challenge? The dress you need to buy is the one that fits you perfectly, accentuates your best assets and flatters any imperfections.
Before you buy
Look at lots of photos and identify some looks you love. Are you leaning towards full skirts, lace, frills or vintage? It’s a good indicator of where your tastes lie. Please do keep an open mind when you look at the professional shots – most of those models are inhumanely thin and stand on boxes to look even more like willowy gazelles. Unless you’re one of them yourself, it’s best to look at the dress alone.
Ask someone you trust about your assets – if you don’t already know what they are. Tiny waist? Gorgeous shoulders? Swan-like neck? Killer legs? Show them off! You could also ask someone you trust about your imperfections, if you feel comfortable enough. The more you know, the better the chance of getting the right dress.
If you don’t want to ask, it’s shop ladies to the rescue. We can’t even tell you how many times brides set their minds on one style, only to be shown another they never would have looked at before and BOOM – that’s the one. Tis true, the shop ladies have a commission to earn. But they’re also total professionals and they don’t want any dresses to be returned. So it’s in their best interest to show you nothing less than perfect.
Check out our complete A-Z guide to wedding dress shopping for brilliant advice!
If they’re mean to you, leave. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but you’re about to spend a big chunk of money on a very important outfit. They shouldn’t have your money if you feel in any way belittled or ignored, or even worse.
Don’t buy the dress on that very day – sleep on it. Most bridal stores will give you time to think about it, so you’ll be able to get back to them with a final yes or no. Also, ask about the return policy, or ‘cooling-off period’, if any. You may have to sacrifice part of your deposit.
After you buy
Image via Couture Care Alterations
Has it been altered yet? Trying on a dress that hasn’t been altered to fit your shape may leave you feeling a bit meh. It can be hard to picture that final end result on that first fitting but do bear in mind that the seamstress may still have to work her magic on it and before you disown it completely. It will be like a different dress when it’s been altered.
What exactly don’t you like about your dress, and can it be fixed? Believe us when we say, seamstresses can perform miracles. Too flouncy? Take some stuff off. Too plain? Add some embellishments (sash, beading, jewellery, funky shoes). Uncomfortable? A small alteration can make all the difference. It’s easier to fix problems when you know what they are.
Speak to the store. Some will take a dress back, but will keep the deposit or part of it. Consider if it makes sense to cut your losses. Don’t rely on eBay too much, you should only realistically expect to get back about a quarter of the price. Ask if you can exchange, or if they have any advice on what else you can do.
Don’t worry about what your fiancé(e) and guests will think. Whatever your dress worries, we guarantee nobody else thinks the same. No groom ever looks at his bride walking towards him, and thinks ‘gee, that style really isn’t doing her any favours’. No guest ever thinks ‘she’d look perfect if only there were more rhinestones.’ A bride is a beautiful sight to behold – the details don’t matter. All anyone ever says is how happy or radiant she looked – not that her dress had too much lace.
Don’t make yourself feel worse by looking at more dresses. Of course you can still look, but it doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake. There’s looking for enjoyment, and there’s looking for your next dress. Concentrate on how to fix what you’ve bought, not on finding a replacement where possible.
Try a creative solution. Do you really think your dress is too plain? Consider statement jewellery and let it do all the talking. Is it too big, too much, bit too Princess Diana? Consider a redux – taking away some layers, adding a simple satin bolero, taking off some bling. Is it ok, but could use some wow? Consider amazing shoes, a stunning cape, or a really fantastic bouquet.
Don’t judge the dress by the dress alone. You already know every outfit looks better when your makeup is perfect, your hair gorgeous and you’re wearing the most amazing shoes. So next time you go to try on your dress, make sure you’re all made up and dazzling – it could make all the difference. In fact, it’s the first bit of advice real brides-to-be give each other when faced with this dilemma. See the total look and then check how you feel. The hair and makeup plus veil or headpiece could make all the difference.
Bite the bullet. If you truly, truly end up hating it, and it gives you sleepless nights, it may be time to reconsider your purchase. Speak to your fiancé(e) or your mam, ask for advice and discuss your budget. Call the store and ask what they can do for you. Don’t make the final decision until you know all your options.
If you’re having regrets, leave us a comment – we’ll be glad to help!
Main image by Katherine Marie Photography
