Wedding Thank You Cards – All The Answers

Planning & Advice

Everyone will agree wedding thank you notes are important. Usually they’re sent if the couple received presents, and to thank the guests for joining them for the celebration. But, not everyone will agree about how to send them, in these modern times. As we’ve already mentioned on the subject of modern wedding dilemmas, invitations sent by email are slowly becoming the norm, so it’s only a matter of time before digital takes over completely, and written thank you notes will be considered a quaint vintage notion.

The good news is, wedding thank you cards are actually pretty simple to tackle, no matter what way you’re sending them – the difficulty only increases with the number of guests. So, here’s our complete how-to and etiquette guide to wedding thank yous.

Click here to go to WOL’s wedding stationery directory for some of the best wedding thank you card designs in Ireland!

When to send the wedding thank you cards?

Someone once said it’s ok to wait up to a year to send thank you cards… and for some reason, this is still believed by many brides today. US etiquette guru Emily Post says you should take no longer than 3 months from the wedding date, while Debretts says no longer than one month. Apply common sense here. If you’ve had a huge lavish wedding and received hundreds of presents then everyone will understand you have a huge task to tackle. If your wedding was small and you received a few gifts or opted for cash, waiting months to say thank you won’t look great.

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Above, wedding thank you cards by Kerry Harvey Designs

What if I start receiving wedding presents before the wedding?

How far in advance have you received it? If the gift comes just a few days before the wedding, you can wait and do it with the rest of the cards. If it comes well before the wedding (for example, when someone is unable to attend and sends a gift right after receiving your invitation) then it’s appropriate to send the thank you card right away – so it’s best to stock up on a few a bit early. 

How do I know who to send the cards to?

You should already have some kind of a record or a spreadsheet of all the people to whom you sent invitations. Save a second copy clearly marked ‘wedding thank you cards’ and adjust accordingly as people confirm or decline your invitation. Anytime someone sends you a gift, be sure to mark it down and a brief description.

How do I remember who gave what?

Appoint a person to be in charge of this. They will need access to the aforementioned jazzy spreadsheet and, of course, will need to be invited to your wedding. This is an ideal role to delegate, as you have too much to do already. This person will have to make notes on what gift was brought by whom.

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Above, wedding thank you cards by Rosy Days

Why do I have to remember who gave what?

Because wedding thank you cards should be personalised. You’re already personalising them with names, you just need to add the gift details. Scroll below for some wording examples you can use.

Can I email some people?

We’re going to say YES, but it won’t work for everyone. Obviously, you won’t be able to email people who don’t have an email address, or for whom you don’t already have an email address. People who gave expensive gifts or large monetary contributions – they should get a proper thank you note too. Any older generations from both your families (even if they email). Anyone who went through the trouble of sending you a gift by post. It’s ok to email anyone who doesn’t know what life was like before the internet, and anyone who needs to have their smartphone surgically removed from their hands. Make sure to put some effort into this email, to avoid it looking like a convenient short-cut. It should be just like a thank you card, except digital. It should be personalised and not sent to a group.

My budget is tight, can I avoid this expense?

Even if your invitations cost a pretty penny, it doesn’t mean you have to spend the same on wedding thank you cards. If you’re shopping for stationery now, be sure to ask if all-inclusive deals are available, so you can save money. Look on Etsy, eBay, Hobbycraft and art supply stores. Ask your photographer how much it would cost to print a single image multiple times, then incorporate it into a simple card. Or if you’re getting your pictures on a CD, arrange the printing yourself. There are many ways you can pay less for thank you cards. Do put aside money for stamps, and if you don’t think emails are too impersonal, be sure to send a few of those (see above) to cut the postage costs.

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Above, wedding thank you cards by The Parlour Press

Is it ok to send something else instead?

Some couples like to send a token with a note – fridge magnets are very popular, for example or some couples add in a photograph of the guest(s) from the day. You may want to reconsider this idea if guests already took home favours from your wedding, as they already have a token to remind them of the occasion. However, if you have the time, the inclination and the money to send something extra, go right ahead. Just remember, you still need to include some words of thanks.

Can my wedding thank you cards be printed?

Yes they can be, but they still need to be personalised. If you leave blanks for names it’ll look like a very obvious shortcut, and like your thanks weren’t personalised much. Typing the name on every single card is time consuming, but still quicker than writing out each card by hand. You should also sign each card by hand.

How do I thank guests for cash?

Perhaps you might like to mention what the cash is being spent on. We discussed the question of whether it’s ever ok to ask for cash as a wedding present – and one thing guests really care about is contributing to your future life together, or a honeymoon. This is why putting the money towards paying off the wedding is a delicate matter. If you really did use all the money, or most of the money, towards paying off the wedding, should you own up to it? It’s a grey area that’s best decided according to your own opinion. Whatever you decide, you should still send a thank you card, and acknowledge the gift.

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Image from Karol-Ann & David’s real wedding by David Maury Photography

Here are some helpful ways to word your wedding thank you cards. Start all cards with ‘Dear…. ‘ and end according to the degree of familiarity you have with the person. You can say things like ‘all our love’, ‘lots of hugs’, ‘lots of love’, ‘hugs and kisses’ to people you’re very close to. For something more formal, you can say ‘sincerely’, ‘best’, ‘with gratitude’, or ‘yours sincerely’.

Check out 18 beautiful Thank You Cards here!

Example 1 – gift:

We’re – or OH and I – are so glad you could attend our wedding – it made the day so much more special. We’re so grateful for your gift of …., and we’d like to thank you for your generosity and sharing our big day with us.

Example 2 – gift:

Thank you very kindly for your amazing gift of… , we were so delighted to receive it, and we can’t wait to use it in our new home/to take it with us on our travels/any other way gift can be applied. Thank you for being a part of our special day!

Example 3 – gift:

Your thoughtfulness has made our special day even more special – so we’d like to say our sincere thanks for your amazing gift of ….. We’ll cherish this wedding keepsake for years to come. It was wonderful to have you join us – it made our wedding day complete.

Example 4 – cash:

Thank you so much for your gift – your generosity is so much appreciated. As you may know, we’re saving up for a deposit on a house/new car/honeymoon/baby, and your contribution means so much. We were so glad to have you sharing our special day with us.

Example 5 – cash:

We’re so glad you could attend our special day, and thank you for your (generous) gift! It meant so much to us to have you there as part of our celebration.

Example 6 – cash:

Thank you for being there with us on our wedding day, and for your gift. It’s going to go a long way in helping us set up our new life together. Your kindness is much appreciated.

Example 7 – no gift:

We were so glad to have you with us on our wedding day. Your presence added to our happiness more than you can imagine.

Example 8 – no gift:

Thank you for coming to our special day – we were so glad to have you with us as we took our vows and began our life together as a married couple. Sharing our happiness with you meant a lot to us, and we’ll never forget how wonderful it was to spend the day with all our friends. Thank you!

Example 9 – no gift:

It was so great to have you attend our wedding! It meant a lot to us to share our special day with great friends like you. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

Example 10 – someone you don’t know:

Thank you so much for attending our special day, and for the very thoughtful (gift). It was so lovely to meet you on the day, and we’re making plans to use your kind gift very soon!

If you need any more wording examples, just let us know in the comments below!

Main image courtesy of Kerry Harvey