he is blaming me of course, just coz I'm a stupid cow and a nag and he only married me & had kids with me coz he was trying to make me happy, but then said that he has been unhappy since I concieved our first child - almost 7 years ago!!! I mean - how do f**k am I to take that??
Of course, I'm a nag because I let it out how I'm feeling when I'm upset about something - but then its out there, I deal with it and then carry on - he has been LYING to me for almost 7 F-ing YEARS!!! WTF!!!!
I knew something was wrong with him a few months ago, but he made me feel like I'm loosing the plot - but hey, the truth is out there now!!
I'm so upset, I dont know what to think or fwwl - my DS & DD will be so upset if he's not here - they miss him when he's not home in the evenings before they go to bed - how will I handle having to tell them that they'll only see him 2 days a week!!??
The stupid effer doest know how brilliant I am a a wife and mother, but he'll get a kick up the jacksy when we seperate, I will not be as soft as his ex wife - oh no, I will not accept a monday evening taking the kids - oh no , he'll have them all weekend every weekend. I've worked my arse off to create a happy home for us, and now he's turned around tonight and saya that he doesnt feel like this is his home??? We've been here 7 effing years!!!! I could kill him - if he tears us apart due to stresses of this recession - well then he an effing w**ker!!!! I'm so annoyed with him! He is saying throuwing in about my 6 year business going down the drain, he hasnt mentioned that he has been out of work for 3 years and I struggled on my own, to try and keep the business going, and not stress him out about it - seemingly, I'm selfish to do that!! I'm a nag tonight coz he went ofr a pint at 3pm and didnt return until 10.30 pm to celebrate new years with me - he thinks I should be delighted he came home in time for NY - not upset, so now he decides its time he leaves!!!!
He's calling me selfish and bad with money - I dont get any dole for myself, he collects it all, any cash I have I put back into the house!!! I bought myself a necklace for my 4oth birthday, (coz I know he wouldnt get it for me) - it was expensive, but I've saved up for over 6 months for it and I dont smoke and hardly go out at all!! - but he smokes and 'deserves' a pint or two and bought a 46" TV last year and says that he is different as that was on HP???? I mean WTF??? he is in la la land, but because I suffer from depression, I'm the looney bin!!! It's taking all my strenght to not take the kids and run run run!!!!
He's mad at me for wanting to go to the USA for my nieces wedding in May - one of my brothers has given me 500 euro towards it, I know I can get another few quid from dad and I'll do carboot sales and markets to raise the rest, plus I'm being put up by the father of the bride and they'll give me a car to get around - and he's calling me selfish?? AllI want is something to look forward to in this doom & gloom - we havnt had a holiday since our honeymon in 2009. bur sure, I'm such a stupid thick blond bioth of a wife, he just wants to walk out on it all - and BLAME for it all - he even said - ' before I met you I was never in debt' - well, I had my own house and car - he had a car and was living with his mum at 36 years of age!!!! Who is the better person???
Sorry - I'm just sooooo upset!!!!!