Help settle an argument

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Weird Cat Lady
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Help settle an argument

Postby Weird Cat Lady » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:46 pm

.. or fuel it.

Do you agree or disagree with the following:

1. Less than five weeks is way too early to be announcing a pregnancy to the family

2. Close friends who are having difficulty conceiving should be asked how they'd like to hear about others good news e.g. would they prefer to receive a text or just be told up front verbally etc. Main point being... it's OK to ask them, and in fact it's probably a good thing to do so.

Take yer picks.

lovelycuppatea
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby lovelycuppatea » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:54 pm

Less than five weeks is unbelievably early, the bean is barely implanted properly at that stage. Still, it's the couples choice.

Certainly thoughtful to ask people having difficulty TTC how they would like to hear news. On the other hand people might feel that was making a bigger deal out if it by asking that.
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Weird Cat Lady
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby Weird Cat Lady » Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:58 pm

lovelycuppatea wrote:On the other hand people might feel that was making a bigger deal out if it by asking that.


Fair point, well made. Say if the friend had almost a half a dozen unsuccessful pregnancies and finding announcements tough going.

Anne Cordelia Shirley
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby Anne Cordelia Shirley » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:01 pm

Five weeks would be too early to tell anyone in my book. I'd be happy to wait as long as possible. I'm not keen on early pregnancy announcements in general though, and I don't really like getting the news at a very early stage.


The TTC difficulty is a bit different. We've friends who've had a terrible time since we've had our children but they made it plain they didn't expect us to tiptoe around them. A family member I'm not so sure how and when to broach the subject, I think you'd need to know the person and have an inkling of how to deal with it.

RainbowNinja
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby RainbowNinja » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:16 pm

We told immediate family at 5 weeks. Unfortunately it didn't stay secret for long (being congratulated on the street by a non family member still makes me mad when I think about it) so if there's a next time, Will definitely not be telling until nearer the 12 weeks

Re friend, i agree with Anne, that it really depends on the person. If it was me, I would prefer to be told by text, so I could have a cry before meeting the mother to be with a smile on my face
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amberjack
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby amberjack » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:23 pm

I did ivf for all mine and due to the fact hat children aren't allowed in the clinic, we had to make arrangements with close family members to mind my other Los and as we were in for a lot of scans, appointments, so we had to tell them what we were doing. Due to the fact that they were aware of what was going on, they were always enquiring as to how we were getting on, so did know from very early on.
Re announcing a pregnancy, I texted close friends and the when the time came, just put an announcement on fb, I didn't put a scan photo, just a humerous comment as I've found that scan photos can hit really hard hitting, especially for those struggling to ttc.
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lovelycuppatea
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby lovelycuppatea » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:35 pm

I think sending a text to couples who are obviously having trouble TTC is the way to go. That way they find out, can come to terms with it and don't have to put on a brave face. It's not tiptoeing really is it, it's being considerate.
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wollysocks
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby wollysocks » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:37 pm

Gosh I think 5 weeks way too early to tell anybody. In saying that 2 family members of ours told at 5 weeks. Particularly for one of them, I thought she had been pregnant forever- couldn't believe she hadn't had the baby- I wouldn't see her for a couple of months- still pregnant, another couple of months later-pregnant still , later again she was still only 7 months etc! Seemed a really long pregnancy!
I think the time when just you and your partner know is kind of special and I wouldn't be rushing to tell the world- we are probably a bit of exception- didn't tell anybody on either pregnancy until about 16 weeks. It was quite exciting then for family I think because it was fairly imminent.

As regards telling people who are having difficulty conceiving, I think I would try and ascertain it from conversation with them rather than asking them directly.

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bluepolkadots
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby bluepolkadots » Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:45 pm

I think it totally depends on the circumstances and whether it is a first baby or not on the timing. We told close family at 8 weeks and then friends at 12 weeks. If it was a second, third baby would consider telling earlier, particularly if struggling physically as I did on first pregnancy.

On the telling friends who are having difficulties again would depend on how you relate to them.
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Bonnie Parker
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Re: Help settle an argument

Postby Bonnie Parker » Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:06 pm

I think people are nuts to tell anyone at all at 5 weeks, you've just peed on the stick ffs.
I certainly would not be asking someone who is having trouble conceiving how they would like to know about any future pregnancies.

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