Went on hols two wks ago with my mixed group of mates about 5 and my hubby. I thought the holiday was great but seemingly hubby wouldnt be rushing to go on hols with them again. Dont get me wrong he gets on with all of them but he felt like he was the only one who had done the research, upload city apps on his phone with landmarks, and maps and was literally being the "pied piper" at night finding all the pubs and restaurants for everyone so he was a bit browned off with people not pulling their weight. In fairness I am crap with directions/maps abroad and I do a little bit of research when it is the two of us but he doesnt mind as I usually let him take over.
There was one day we went off ourselves and he said that was the best day as he got to do his own thing and not be babysitting everyone. There are a few in the group who have never travelled much and one fella is even nervous when he goes to UK on his own!! I personally think it's just different types of people we as a couple travel a lot and on our own and its been a while since we went with a group so getting used to other people is different. The city we went to also is one he has been dying to see all his life and I think he just wanted to get immersed in the place and wander. It didnt probably help that we only had 3 days in the place and we took a day trip outside the city (which was just ok) due to there being a public transport strike that day in the city. He feels he didnt get to see everything cos everyone was asking him what's this, what will we do, what road do we go to, what pub? and then a load would bail early after a few drinks etc. Cos the're my friends I felt I wanted to defend them a bit as I know a lot are crap at organising themselves on a city break I felt everyone was easygoing as regards food, following the hubby as to where to go, there were no fights and they had no problems with us heading off on our own one day. I think if OH wanted to not go on the day trip he could have just stayed on wandered around himself nobody forced him to come with us but he came as he thought I would be pi**** at him (which I probably would have been). I think if it had been any other city he may not have felt so browned off. I can see the two sides but cant help thinking he got to see all the sights in a limited time, we got nice bars/restaurants and he should be grateful for that. Just for the record he's fine with me it's just he thinks the others didnt pull there weight on hols. There we go post holiday rant over (I enjoyed the holiday anyway)

Most people don't do a massive amount of research going on holidays, I certainly never uploaded apps to my phone for hols! I think that his expectations of holidays didn't match the others, but he has to realise that not everyone does holidays like he does. Some people are quite happy to just go with the flow. When we went on holidays with friends, we all did our own thing, and met up later on. Best of both worlds. If it happens again, he shouldn't assume the role of "pied piper" ... he should say "well, we're going here today, what are you doing?" and let people make their own mind up.
I have been on the other end of someone dictating where we went, what we did, where we ate & drank on a holiday once and everyone got very browned off very quickly with it. I'm not saying your OH dictated, but perhaps others felt he did a bit?

hopingforsoon wrote:Most people don't do a massive amount of research going on holidays, I certainly never uploaded apps to my phone for hols! I think that his expectations of holidays didn't match the others, but he has to realise that not everyone does holidays like he does. Some people are quite happy to just go with the flow. When we went on holidays with friends, we all did our own thing, and met up later on. Best of both worlds. If it happens again, he shouldn't assume the role of "pied piper" ... he should say "well, we're going here today, what are you doing?" and let people make their own mind up.
I have been on the other end of someone dictating where we went, what we did, where we ate & drank on a holiday once and everyone got very browned off very quickly with it. I'm not saying your OH dictated, but perhaps others felt he did a bit?

+1 to all of this. We're very 'go with the flow' people on holidays and it's different when you have children with you but we went with another family and he was very much a planner. We went on Saturday and were going home Friday and by Tuesday he was planning when we were going to pack up to go home. I have to say it pi$$ed me off no end and we won't go on holidays with them again but that's just our experience.

yeah no what you mean no tbh I think the others were just happy out to let him find the bars, and find places on map for them a lot wouldnt have travelled much before and were happy with that I got the impression too that because someone was doing it for them they didnt have to bother doing research or trying to find places a matter of lead me there and I'm happy with that. When I go on hols with OH we have similar tastes in food and what sights we want to see so we never have a problem the only thing I let him take charge of is finding places I'm crap at maps/directions in a foreign country he is just a whizz he could find a place in 15 mins whereas I'd be another hour trying to find it it's easier all round and saves time and frustration on our hols when I just give him the map. Yeah I guess its different types of people on holidays we havent been away with a crowd in a good few years so was strange adjusting to everyone else. TBH I enjoy the romantic city breaks away by ourselves now that we are married

I'd say just don't holiday with those people in future! I've holidayed with people before and enjoyed the holiday but knew from at least a couple of days in that I'd never holiday with these people again. We'd have different wants and needs and likes/dislikes on a holiday. I went once and felt the people I went with moaned all the time. Now I love these people, but they did nothing but complain, just for the sake of it. I didn't let it impact on my holiday, but I swore I'd never holiday with them again.

Sounds like your friends are like myself, a bit more 'go with the flow' and your DH is Mr. Organised on hols. Nothing wrong with either, but you live and learn, your DH will never holiday with them again and they've probably said the same about him. No slight on your DH or your friends. Just not suited holiday chums

Always Broke that sound terrible I hate to have one person in the group dictating were everyone goes everyday he sounds like a tourguide you cant enjoy yourself. Luckily OH isnt like that he is very easygoing as to what to do we all would meet up at breakfast and plan what sights we wanted to see and at night what type of food people would like as we had a mix of people eating any type to people who were at bit more conservative ie only "steak and chips" men the planning was grand it was just that cos there was 7 of us no one had bought a travel book, or did a bit of research to help OH out they know he is good at reading maps/directions abroad so I think they may have let him do it including myself. I am grateful of someone knowing where to go though when you are trying to find a bar in a dark area at 12 midnight

True Jawl ironic thing is OH is very easygoing skips his breakfast to have a lie in and cruises outside and just wanders round to soak in the atmosphere of the city. It's more at night he gets into Mr Organised esp if we need to get a dinner and catch a few bars before closing time. One night the gang didnt leave the hotel bar till 10.00 and we didnt get eating in a restaurant till 10.45 by the time people had ordered, eaten etc it was after 12.00 and we had to go looking round for bars that were open. I think in that instance we should have left the hotel earlier instead of messing round drinking in the hotel bar no offence to the hotel bar but I find them a bit non-atmospheric and like to get out and see some of the nightlife the city has to offer.

True Jawl ironic thing is OH is very easygoing skips his breakfast to have a lie in and cruises outside and just wanders round to soak in the atmosphere of the city. It's more at night he gets into Mr Organised esp if we need to get a dinner and catch a few bars before closing time. One night the gang didnt leave the hotel bar till 10.00 and we didnt get eating in a restaurant till 10.45 by the time people had ordered, eaten etc it was after 12.00 and we had to go looking round for bars that were open. I think in that instance we should have left the hotel earlier instead of messing round drinking in the hotel bar no offence to the hotel bar but I find them a bit non-atmospheric and like to get out and see some of the nightlife the city has to offer.

That's really annoying! In my experience of holidaying with other people, myself and Mr. Jawl feel we are better off going and eating when we are hungry/ready than waiting around. We were away with a group one year, and it was 10pm most nights when we were eating, so by week 2 we just met them later on for drinks. It doesn't suit us to eat that late, we don't like it. I've been on a couple of family holidays and we all ate when it suited us, which meant we rarely ate together but it worked well. It was bad enough trying to get 10 people out of the hotel bar to go about the town at the same time. Having to do it on an empty stomach? Not fun

miss choc it wasn't even that he was dictating what we were all going to do but he wanted to know a few days in advance what we were going to do. We were holidaying in Ireland so that's pretty much impossible anyway because certain activities are weather dependent. We're still great friends and get together for lunch most Sundays but like Jawl we won't be going on holidays with them again! He was just a different mindset to myself and dh and it bugged me at the time!