It’s a great honour and a privilege to be invited to a wedding – but not when, as a guest, you are expected to stand around for hours until dinner is served twiddling your thumbs (sometimes in extreme weather!) Of the thousands of words of wedding advice written for brides and grooms, here are 10 tips from the other side of the aisle – your guests!
10 things guests expect from a wedding (not just tissues to dry their happy tears):
1. Not to have to shout over the music during the meal – the time at the table is when the guests get to socialise. If they have to shout, they simply won’t have as much fun chatting.
2. Not to wait for hours between the ceremony and the reception – if the wait is going to be anything longer than an hour, arrange refreshments and entertainment if possible, in an area where they can kick back and relax – please don’t make them sit in their cars while you get your photos taken.
3. Not being told important stuff – for example, is the reception venue an hour’s drive from the ceremony venue? You should either arrange transport for the guests, or tell them clearly how much travelling is involved in between.
4. Not having to pay €8 for a beer at the bar – if you can’t have an open bar, make appropriate arrangements with the venue so the alcohol is reasonably priced. Look at it like a guest – they spent money travelling to your wedding, getting you a present or putting cash in an envelope, and now they have to spend HOW MUCH to get in a jolly mood? And the money doesn’t even go to the couple – it goes to the venue!
5. To know what’s happening when – make sure the timings of the day are made known to everyone. The best way is to have them printed on the other side, or as an extra page, of your order of service for the ceremony. Have you ever waited for hours at a wedding, wishing you’d stopped at that drive-thru nearby? Exactly.
6. To have a few personal words with the newlyweds – whether you’ll have a receiving line or not, make sure you spare even a moment to chat a little with all your guests. They just love being a part of the wedding and they want to tell the couple personally how much they are enjoying themselves!
7. To be told what’s where – it’s very helpful to post some signs – bathrooms, cloak rooms, quiet rooms (where they can get away from the music) and anything else that may be useful.
8. Not to miss an important date – huge sporting events, Christmas, Easter, even the X Factor final for some… all will cause some guests to miss your wedding. We know it’s not always possible, but try to schedule your wedding on a fairly neutral date.
9. For the speeches not to last for hours – especially when they are taking place before the meal and the guests are hungry! Short, funny, sentimental and to the point is the goal for all the speeches. Everyone knows that the best man’s speech is really the one everyone expects to be the bee’s knees (that’s why he usually goes last), so the preceeding speeches should be shorter.
10. A word about favours – let it be said loud and clear that the person who cares the most about the favours is the bride. Guests don’t go to weddings thinking “ooh I wonder what the favours will be”. This is why sweetie buffets are so popular – because EVERYONE loves them! Either go completely original with your favours or not at all. Save your money and put it towards the bar tab instead.
Main photo from Ruth & Toby’s real wedding by DKPHOTO