Image by DKPhoto
Have you ever noticed that most wedding checklists read like they were written only for the bride? Pick up your dress and book groom’s suit hire… start your fitness and diet plan… choose bridesmaids… And that’s because, let’s face it, if the bride’ wasn’t doing all the planning, the wedding would look very different. You need not look any further than ‘Don’t Tell The Bride – seldom is there a man who gets it right all the way to the altar – or the plane, the swimming pool, the rainy beach. Yes it’s true, they only have a short time to plan the whole thing – but you don’t need a year to make disastrous budget decisions. All it takes is five minutes.
Let’s face it girls – we’re just much better at this whole wedding planning thing than the guys are. And here’s why!
Girls just wanna get stuff done
Image by Karina Finegan Photography
Let’s say it loud and proud – most of us are real doers. Whether we’re already living with our fiancé or not, we get stuff done. Laundry, bills, house chores, errands, kids, walking the dog, family dinners – you name it, we do it. Even if your man is very helpful, and loves to do DIY, cook, or shop, you still outdo him in almost every way.
A doer is the right person to plan a wedding, except it’s adding more stuff to the stuff she does already. Without a doer, there would be no wedding. Or rather, there would be a bare-minimum ceremony, a reception at a local pub while watching whatever sporting event happens to be on, and then off to buy a new car as a wedding gift (for the groom), or a budget honeymoon involving a lot of hostels. Yes there are brides who think this would be perfect – but they are an exception.
What is more commonplace?
7 months before the wedding – She: Honey, have you looked at any bands you may like yet? He: No, not yet, will do.
6 months – She: Have you? He: No, not yet, loads of time.
5 months – She: Any band news? He: Nope, will do this weekend.
4 months – She: Band? He: No…
3 months – She: Are we to have silence at our reception? Cheesy elevator music playing through the hotel’s PA system? He: Stop nagging I’m looking into it.
2 months – She: If you haven’t booked a band yet, I will. It’s getting far too late, and anyone good is already booked by grooms who actually care about their weddings. He: Band, right, getting sorted…
1 month – She: I asked you do this one little thing, and you’ve done nothing about it. The wedding is in FOUR WEEKS. He: Actually, I booked a band last weekend, they were playing at that place I went to with the guys… She: The place you came back completely drunk from and couldn’t remember anything the next day? He: *sheepishly* Yes… She: Do you even REMEMBER the band? He: They were good! She: *silence*
Wedding day: Band turns out to be local college wannabe rockers with long hair, slightly under dressed for the occasion, but they’re actually really good and keep the dance floor packed late into the night. Phew!
Would this happen if the bride sorted out the band? Highly unlikely!
We see rainbows, guys see fruit…
Image from Perfect Peach & Teal Wedding Colour Palette
Girls have always had that gift – we know pretty much since childhood what our favourite colour is, the crayons are our best friends, then comes make-up and clothes… by the time our wedding rolls around, we either have an idea of a colour scheme, or we are definitely having preferences. The groom-to-be will usually just agree to whatever the bride has chosen.
In the context of a wedding, ‘peach’ is definitely a colour, while to your guy it’ll always be a fruit. Same goes for variations of a particular shade – take pink. We’ve got fuchsia, cerise, Barbie pink, watermelon, bubble-gum pink, rose pink, dusty pink, baby pink, and all the shades thereof… it’s all the same to a guy! If you buy something online and they send the wrong hue, you’ll certainly see it, whereas he probably won’t.
We’re just way better at all this visual stuff – look no further than the fantastic décor shots in our real weddings – most have the bride’s touch all over them!
If you’ve actually got a guy who sees all the colours and agrees that yes, indeed, that shade of pink they sent is the wrong one (how dare they!) then you’ve got a true gem of a man – he’s either got a truly artistic eye, wishes he was an interior decorator, or a son of Philip Treacy.
Queens of multitasking
Image by Ebony & Pearl Photography
We didn’t need a serious psychology journal to tell us that women are better at multitasking than men, but if you need some scientific proof, BMC Psychology published one just last month! It says… women are better at multitasking. No kidding.
Planning a wedding requires serious multitasking, as we all know. That’s why all brides should take those wedding-free days once in a while, and sometime around a four month mark – a little weekend getaway, with or without the groom. It’ll be a good chance to ask HIM to multi-task for a change – showering you with rose petals while ordering breakfast in bed from room service, as soon as you wake up at some gorgeous countryside inn.
In fact, we know a bride who took her reluctant groom-to-be to one of the major wedding fairs in the country. He was, of course, one of approximately three men amongst thousands of women (and their mums!) And when they left, she armed with bagfuls of leaflets, samples, and inspirational freebies, fully switched on with mind racing a thousand miles a second, converting all that she’d seen into an ultimate wedding dream, he turned to her – ashen-faced, hands slightly shaking – and said “so planning a wedding is a pretty big job then, isn’t it!” Yes, dear. For better or worse.
Here’s a fun idea for a joint hen-stag do… why joint, you ask? Because we all know all the hens would rock this game – the point is to enjoy the guys squirming! It’s a multitasking game, where the participants are asked to do three or more things at once, for example: arrange flowers, talk on the phone, and address invitations at the same time. The winner is the one who completes everything the fastest. The laughs are guaranteed.
Also guaranteed – whether a wedding is big or small, any bride can truly congratulate herself on a job well done when it’s all finished, vows exchanged, suits returned, and she’s sitting on that plane flying off to the honeymoon. It wouldn’t have happened without her at all!
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If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.