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7 Girls Who’d (Probably) Make a Bad Bridesmaid

A word to the wise: choose thy bridesmaids carefully, for they have the power to affect thy whole wedding! Not just wedding, actually. All the months (years!) leading up to the wedding too. You need no further evidence than a glance at any online forum. At least a third of the topics will be about bridesmaids, and they won’t be of the ‘I have the best bridesmaids in the world’ ilk. Oh no. They will be all about the headaches, fashion crimes, ghosting, and overspending. And the hen do! So what’s a cool, modern bride to do? Heed our advice about who’d make a bad bridesmaid, of course. 

Secretly in love (or in crush) with your other half

Someone somewhere has already written a romantic ‘comedy’ about this scenario. In it, the bride was the one left weeping. This person is probably a pretty close friend of yours, close enough to either tell you how she feels, or not be able to hide it from you no matter how she tries. The awkward factor is so high here, you couldn’t measure it with a broomstick. It should be pretty clear she’s a bad bridesmaid candidate. 

Truly, madly, deeply competitive

This is a great person to have around if you enjoy getting your butt kicked into gear. Promotion, weight loss, personal achievement – yes, she is your gal. She will motivate you to do better by going head to head with you in the spirit of friendship. Except… over a wedding. She must be the biggest presence, the most beautiful bridesmaid, and the one with a speech. We wouldn’t put it past her to announce her own engagement or pregnancy at your wedding. And the whole world knows stealing the bride’s thunder is the ultimate wedding crime.  

Undeniably unreliable

She cancels, she’s always late, she sends you a birthday card in October but your birthday was in June. She goes to a wrong bar on a night out. You invite her to dinner, but she forgets to tell you she turned vegetarian. It’s a miracle she makes it to work Monday to Friday. She’s such an awesome friend though, you simply say she’s quirky like that and always forgive her. That is, until you make her your bridesmaid, and she lets you down in a major way. Like, at the airport on your way to the hen do, she discovers her passport has expired. And goes to the wrong church on the wedding day. Bad bridesmaid, even though she probably doesn’t mean to be. The girl just can’t help it. 

Mind-numbingly negative

You’ve probably seen that cartoon with a storm cloud over one person while the sun shines on everyone else. If that person is a bridesmaid candidate, don’t ask her! Planning a wedding is stressful, you’ll need someone with a good grip to pick you up at times. That won’t be her. In fact, YOU might end up consoling HER about how hard it is to be a bridesmaid these days, and buying her all the drinks at the hen do. Nah. Just don’t go there.

Jaw-droppingly jealous

So jealous, she actually glows in the dark! It will get harder and harder to deal with that as the wedding date gets near. There may be fights. There may be silent treatments. Do you really need that during your wedding planning, or even in your life in general? It’s easy to spot this bad bridesmaid candidate, luckily. Usually, you know she’s been jealous of you for years – your successes, relationships and holidays. Oh, and as we mentioned, she glows (and not in a good way). Stay away.

Micromanaging mastermind

Actually, this one is still up for debate. If you are a very disorganised person, you would probably love someone to take over all the planning – and we really mean TAKE OVER. This girl will not only take care of the very last detail, but she’ll do it with the precision of a seasoned army general! Everyone will quake in their (polished) boots when they see her number pop up on their phone. While you might be super grateful for her intervention at first, soon it will become obvious… she’s not planning your wedding, but her own, except with you and your other half in the starring roles. You’ll never wrestle it back from her. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Sadly single

We all know some singles, and most of them are quite normal, right? Well, there’s always that one… the one who is way done with being single. She’s got the number of your DJ, photographer and caterer, and it’s not because she really wants to help you out. Nope, she’s going to pounce on one of them as soon as she knows they’re single. If you actually ask her to be your bridesmaid, don’t be surprised if you suddenly can’t find the photographer (or the DJ, or the caterer) at a crucial point of your wedding day. They’re probably snogging somewhere in the shadows.

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Rachel Green

If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.

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