It was Benjamin Franklin (allegedly) who said life’s only two certainties are death and taxes. Clearly, our Ben was never a bride. There is a third thing that belongs on his list, and that is bridal problems. The same problems that come back with nearly every wedding, year after year, and surprise every first-time bride exactly the same way. Luckily, we know all about them! So if you are just discovering that wedding planning isn’t all rainbows and fluffy clouds, keep reading. We can help. Here are bridal problems you can expect to face, and how to win every time.
Your best girl squad giving you problems? Refuse to wear dresses you bought, don’t get along, disappear when you need them, don’t help…? Ask yourself: if someone can’t make an effort for you on this very special occasion, do they deserve to be a part of it? (of course, you do have to take in to account, everyone has stuff going on and your wedding is only a part of their life). But if they’re making zero effort, perhaps the answer is no.
Be very nice about it, but feel free to fire any bridesmaid who causes you grief. A good alternate option is to have just one bridesmaid (like your best friend or your sister, someone you know won’t let you down). Or your 11-year-old cousin who will love her dress, will do anything you ask her, and won’t cause any drama.
Have you EVER seen a movie where a couple argued over their wedding budget? We haven’t either! Hollywood needs to hurry up and make that movie, because it will resonate with all couples in all the lands. In the meantime, prepare yourself: it’s coming (if it hasn’t happened already). Virtually every part of money spending could be subject to arguments: what, how much of it, where, who… ARGH.
So how do you nip this in the bud? A little while ago, we presented this genius approach to wedding planning and budgeting that really gets to the point. Could it work for you? Try it and see. The other solution is to say to each other: we expect to have fights about money. Let’s minimise them by discussing the wedding spending totally openly and making all decisions together. And if our parents give us money, we will ask them to keep it ‘for now’, until we decide what is the right thing to do with it. And speaking of parents…
Who knew parents had so many opinions about your wedding? Sometimes, it seems everyone has lost their minds. Mostly, they all act like it’s their wedding, when it really isn’t. Parents can cause a huge amount of bridal problems.
The solution is simple. Before all this starts, agree with your other half that no matter what your parents throw at you, you will decide what to do together and then present a united front. This way, whatever dilemma comes your way, you will have only one answer ‘I have to discuss this with my fiancé(e)’. And then, when you present your answer, start by saying, ‘we have decided… ‘. WE is the magic word. Against your united front, no argument stands a chance.
Guest list blackmail
Your guest list is yours… so why are other people acting like it’s theirs? They threaten not to come if you invite someone, or uninvite someone. You said no kids, they say ‘make an exception for my kids!’ They want to bring a plus-one, even though that’s not on the invitation. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to elope! Should you give in for the sake of peace?
This is one of the trickiest bridal problems of all, without one single solution. Each situation has to be measured on its own merit. One thing’s for sure: if the thought of a mere presence of a particular person at your wedding makes you unhappy, then they should not be coming. On your special day, you should be surrounded by love, not clouds.
Other half not interested
Again and again, this issue comes back on forums and on social media: my other half doesn’t care about the wedding! I’m left all alone with the planning, I get zero help, and it’s driving me crazy. Why is this, and what to do?
There are a million answers. Maybe they simply think (mistakenly) that planning is a girl thing. Perhaps they really have no opinion on colours or themes, because they never had to think about it before. Or maybe a few bridezilla(ish) episodes have scared them off. Either way, there isn’t enough talking going on. And remember this: it is not fair that you have to plan this whole big day on your own, and the other person just gets to show up and look good. Don’t be afraid to say that out loud.
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If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.