Remember all the horrible, unbelievable, unacceptable things brides have asked their bridesmaids to do? Well… bridesmaid crime is also a real thing, doncha know! Yes, there is such a thing as bridesmaidzilla (a few other zillas have also been discovered by science).
So, dear ladies… if you’re a bridesmaid and do none of the things below, then you’re a true friend and exactly what the bride needs.
Or if you’re a bride spending more time making your bridesmaids happy than planning your own wedding then, well… it wasn’t really meant to be that way!
It’s worth adding that all of the below applies to the groomsmen too. They should also keep the planning a crime free zone.
Bridesmaid crime #1 – asks ‘how can I help?’, then doesn’t do it
At the very moment of asking, the bridesmaid has all the good intentions. Unfortunately, they evaporate as quickly as the fumes on today’s best engineered nail polish. Now what’s the bride to do? If she’s ultra-awkward about following up on stuff, she’ll never follow up on her request. Dear bridesmaid – if you offer to do something, just bloomin’ go and do it. The bride is counting on you.
Bridesmaid crime #2 – talking behind the bride’s back
This is just like a bad bus service. Everyone shouts at the poor driver who did nothing wrong, when they should be telling the bus company. Complaining to the wrong people accomplishes nothing! If something’s bugging a bridesmaid, it can’t be fixed unless the bride is told. Calling other bridesmaids to vent frustrations is futile, because there’s nothing they can do about it. It’s best to either tell the bride, or forget it. We’re all adults here.
Bridesmaid crime #3 – not knowing anything
By anything, we mean ceremony time, where the church is, reception location, how to get there, what colour shoes the bridesmaids are wearing… in short, every bit of info that’s already on an invitation, in an email or in a text. Every time a bridesmaid asks the bride about all the obvious things, the bride will grow a tiny bit more doubtful about choosing her. Not ideal, is it? Ask one of the other bridesmaids instead!
Bridesmaid crime #4 – not understanding the role
Ok, here it is, clear as day – the bridesmaid’s role is NOT just to show up and look pretty on the day. Being a bridesmaid – a GOOD bridesmaid – means being well and truly helpful with whatever planning bit needs sorting out. Of course, for a chief bridesmaid, it’s more than that. Any bridesmaid who doesn’t know what to do should ask the bride how she can be of help. And keep away from crime number one!
Bridesmaid crime #5 – ‘OMG, me too!’
The bride is so stressed, she’s crackling. She comes to the bridesmaid for help. She wants to offload her problems and ask for advice. What should the bridesmaid to? Step up to the task immediately by providing a comfy seat, a beverage (probably alcoholic), and a shoulder to cry on.
What should the bridesmaid NOT do? Say, ‘OMG me too! You have no idea how stressed I’ve been! I can’t find bloomin’ shoes you asked for anywhere, and oh my boss has refused to give me a raise, so I really can’t afford to do your hen do! And I also hate my knees, so I’m going to buy a different dress to wear instead of the one you already bought, ok?’
Bridesmaid crime #6 – not being honest about money
It’s a sensible thing to turn down offers you simply can’t afford. Joining a wedding is no different. Being a bridesmaid costs money, even if the bride pays for the dresses and other whatnots. Every struggling bridesmaid must remember that there are expenses looming on the horizon. Hen do. Gifts. Maybe buying a few bits and bobs like shoes and accessories. When it’s all a year away, it’s easy to think ‘ah, that’s fine, I’ll figure something out by then!’ But things don’t always go to plan. Any potential bridesmaid who’s worried about her financial situation should say no to being a bridesmaid. It’s a perfectly acceptable reason the bride can’t possibly argue with.
Bridesmaid crime #7 – going AWOL at worst possible times
An email from the bride says there’s an amazing sale on fantastic dresses, but only until tomorrow! Please reply with a yes or no today, and if everyone likes them, then she’ll buy! Everyone replies… except one.
An email from the chief bridesmaid says there’s an unbelievable deal on Groupon for a spa break, what do you think girls, for the hen do? Everyone replies… except one.
Bride’s mum texts to say the rehearsal dinner is booked for the day before the wedding, at this time, at this place. Please could everyone confirm they’ll be able to make it? Everyone replies… except one.
No bridesmaid should ever be that one.
Bridesmaid crime #8 – venting the day before the wedding
The day before the wedding should be a day the bride lays all her checklists to rest. A shout-out to the bridesmaids here, they probably helped with a huge chunk of the tasks. But there’s one truly dissatisfied one. She hates the dress, but she didn’t say anything when the bride asked her opinion. She really doesn’t like her hair do, but as everyone has the same one, she kept quiet. Wants to wear heels, not flat shoes. Can’t stand one of the groomsmen. Oh, and she can’t make it for makeup tomorrow. Ok, these could all be solved easily – if only she told the bride in advance! Keeping quiet until the day before the wedding, then letting it all tumble out in one massive vent session is something no bride should deal with.
Bridesmaid crime #9 – hitting the bottle too early
The morning of the wedding day is so exciting! All the pampering going on, helping the bride get dressed, being photographed… it’s really great. A bottle of bubbly pops open, toasts all around, then refills. Then more refills, and forgetting to eat something. You know where this is leading – feeling ill, wobbling down the aisle, having a pounding headache. It’s not the best way to feel on a wedding day! Bridesmaids – refrain from getting too tipsy the morning of the wedding. It’s best to wait until the reception and be in your best party mood.
Bridesmaid crime #10 – putting the friendship at risk
It’s fair to assume brides usually ask close friends (or siblings) to be bridesmaids. It’s her support group of girls, working together to make an amazing day happen. But sometimes, when there’s too much negativity (complaining, gossiping, arguing) it’s easy to think this will all pass once the wedding is over. Actually, bad bridesmaiding puts the whole friendship at risk. From the bride’s side, it looks like this – the most important event of her adult life, and THIS is how one of her closest friends is acting? It’s not what the bride expected. Constant battles over the wedding mean there may be no friendship after the wedding.
Photo via Stylist.co.uk
