Image by Michelle Prunty Photography
So, as the story goes, a bride asks some of her friends to be her bridesmaids – happiness ensues. It’s an honour and a responsibility – and a chance to be in a lot of photos looking absolutely gorgeous in a dress and shoes that someone else has paid for. Let’s not forget the professional makeup and hair too.
It’s never a problem when the bridesmaids are all model-gorgeous and size 6, with legs for days and really white teeth. In real life, the bridesmaids are all different shapes, sizes, hair colours and insecurities. Now try to make them all look good in the same dress. Plus, you are almost guaranteed to hear the following words: “buy my dress two sizes smaller, I’m going to lose weight for the wedding”
A wedding date is such a lovely important deadline – it’s when the bride’s married life starts and her bridesmaids book a date with their smaller selves. An actual solid date to look forward to. It’s so reassuringly far away too… anything can be accomplished in 8, or 12, or 18 months right? Right.
Image by Elizabeth Messina
If you’re a bride, here’s some good real-life advice on how to minimise the issues that come with shopping for the bridesmaids’ dresses:
- Speaking bluntly, the most potentially unflattering dresses are the ones that show the most skin. Think of summer – how many women do you see in light, short, or strapless sundresses who really shouldn’t be wearing them? Exactly. Think – covered shoulders, or straps plus wraps/boleros, long skirts, and bias cuts which suit everyone. You can buy pashmina wraps online for €5 each nowadays in every colour imaginable. The long skirts will take care of any leg insecurities. And strapless is a good look for only the select few. That is the truth. You could end up with two lovely-looking girls and two who would give their kingdom for something to put over their shoulders.
- Find a few examples of dresses you like online, email them to the girls and ask straight up – do they like them? If not, why not? You are girls and close friends – there’s nothing to be shy about.
- If possible, buy dresses that have lace-up backs instead of zippers. Just like wedding gown corsets, they are a much easier fit should your bridesmaid actually lose or gain weight.
- Don’t buy dresses in colours that are hard to find. This really happens – bridesmaids put on weight before the wedding for various reasons, and sometimes inserting extra fabric panels is the only option to let a dress out. If you can’t find matching fabric swatches you will find yourself re-thinking all the dresses – and that’s an extra expense you don’t need.
- Spare yourself the shoe stress by letting the girls buy their own. If you’re paying for the dresses, hair, makeup, flowers and gifts for them, this is the one expense they can cover themselves. Let them buy what they want, but specify a style – for example, shoes must be nude sandals. Sorted.
Three most brilliant pieces of advice you’ll ever get about outfitting your bridesmaids:
- Dress nightmares give you sleepless nights? Buy SEPARATES! Who said bridesmaids have to be in dresses – buy tops and skirts! Suddenly you have twice the selection and so much cheaper too! Just Google “bridesmaids in tops and skirts” and see the fantastic looks you can create. And they can truly wear them again after the wedding.
- If any of your bridesmaids say they want a dress 2 sizes smaller – don’t listen! Buy the dress in the same size as they are now. If they lose the weight, it’s a lot easier to have a dress taken in than let out – just ask any seamstress. If they don’t lose the weight, they still have a dress that fits.
- Apply common sense and have only ONE bridesmaid/maid of honour. The more bridesmaids, the more issues. One is easy to dress and discuss things with, not to mention budget-friendly. Pick the one girl who truly deserves it and is involved in your wedding heart-and-soul, so you’ll be proud to have her looking gorgeous next to you in your wedding photos for years to come. If you feel an obligation to include more girls, give them special tasks to show they are an important part of the day – readings, speeches, usherettes, witnesses; you can even buy them corsages so they stand out from other guests.
Discussing fashion with your girls shouldn’t be a dreaded task – avoid all the difficulties by keeping an open mind and asking for feedback. And remember – class is never out of style.
