Want to give your guests a bit of a laugh during your wedding speech? These funny quotes are sure to do the trick! We just love injecting a little bit of humour into weddings, and the speeches are a fantastic space to do that. No matter the overall tone of your speech, there’s always a way to start or end with humour.
Related: 5 Ways to Nail Your Wedding Speech
If you think back to wedding speeches you’ve heard in the past, you probably can’t remember specific quotes you heard, but you can remember the speeches that made you laugh! That’s why these funny quotes are so brilliant – they will help you create those special moments that guests will remember for years to come.
Quotes about husbands
“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Ann Bancroft
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!” – Bill Maher
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
“Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” – Anonymous
“Husbands are like wine, they take a long time to mature.” – Donatella in Letters to Juliet
Quotes about wives
“My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” – Henry Youngman
“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” – Jack Benny
“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” – Henry Youngman
Quotes about marriage
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” – Winston Churchill
“Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’” – Michelle Obama
“Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.” – Anonymous
