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How to Be the Best Maid of Honour Ever!

Your bestie has just asked you to be her Maid of Honour and you’ve said yes! Not sure what your responsibilities are? Well, we’ve got you covered. Here’s our guide to how you can be the best Maid of Honour ever…

Featured image credit: Laura and Benny Photography


Accept with honour

Your first step to be the best Maid of Honour ever is to recognise the privilege that it is to carry this title. Your bestie has invited you to be her right hand woman and actively support her on one of the biggest journeys of her life. The official definition of Maid of Honour is “the most important bridesmaid at the wedding”. That’s a pretty fantastic title and a fab reminder of just how important you are to your friend. Accept this title and all the responsibilities that go with it. When things get a little busy for you, just remember the honour that it is to carry this title.


Be there for the bride

Throughout the wedding planning phase, your key role is to be there. This will look different in different scenarios, so it’s hard to put a definition on ‘being there’. You’ll know what it is when the opportunity presents itself! Is your bestie overwhelmed with wedding planning? Help her create a wedding planning checklist so she can stay on track (or download ours here and take the credit). Does the couple have a lot of other stuff going on in their lives aside from the wedding? Be a good friend and offer support.


Understand your responsibilities

Our advice: to be the best Maid of Honour ever, know what you’ve got to do before you’re asked to do it! One of your roles is to spearhead the planning of the hen party, along with the bridesmaids, so be sure to do so as early on as you can. You don’t want the bride to have to awkwardly say “hey, um, I’d really love to have a hen party, would you plan it?”. Be proactive and get started now!


Be the ringleader of the bridesmaids

Think of yourself as the middle man between the bride and bridesmaids. Make sure everybody knows where to be and when so your bestie doesn’t have to send her location pin to 4 other girls while she’s getting ready on the morning of her Big Day. Stay on top of any drama that may ensue amongst the bridesmaids and help them keep the peace. Are the girls upset about the dresses they’ve got to wear? Take it upon yourself to keep them comfortable so the bride doesn’t have to explain her choices to everyone.


Plan an epic hen party

Being the best Maid of Honour means that you get to plan the hen party! You don’t have to do it alone. In fact, we recommend delegating duties to the bridesmaids and getting them all involved. It just means that you are overseeing the planning and you take responsibility for the day going off without any hiccups.

We’re not going to list all the steps involved, but these are the key elements to keep in mind:

Chat with the bride: Ask your bestie if she wants a hen party. If she does, what would she like (a relaxed restaurant setting, a weekend away, an elegant garden party or brunch)? Find out who she’d like to have there.

Set a date: We recommend hosting the hen party two to four weeks before the wedding. Any later and you’re stepping into key rest time or potential stress-time for the couple.

Book a venue and start inviting guests: Depending on your priorities, you might want to book your venue and then set a date based on when the venue is free (it’s really an egg or chicken situation). Send Save the Dates to the guests so they can set aside time to be there and spoil the bride.

Create a theme: You could choose a theme based on something the bride loves (like a Friends-themed bridal shower) or a simple colour scheme to keep the decor cohesive.

Delegate roles: Chat with the bridesmaids about who wants to take on which tasks. Get somebody to arrange games, someone else to organise decorations, and another to think about photo ops. Remember that it’s not up to you to do it all, so start getting the others involved if you haven’t already.

At the party: At the lovely hen party, make sure you’re on top of the flow of events. Keep track of who’s given which gift to the bride and make sure everyone’s having a good time (especially the bride!).


Be helpful at the wedding

Being the best Maid of Honour ever isn’t just about the pre-wedding activities. There’s lots to do on the day too!

A great host: Make sure everyone is having a good time, help round up the bridal party and family for photos, and get the party started by hopping on the dance floor.

Be organised: Have a copy of the wedding timeline and supplier contacts list. You’ll need to be somewhat of a hub of information.

Consider the technical details: Make sure gifts get to the car at the end of the night, know where to put the dress if the bride is changing outfits, and keep the bridal suite clean and tidy.

Remind her to eat: Yup, that’s right. Couples often get so busy on the day that they forget to eat and drink. Have some snacks and a bottle of water handy.

Be prepared: Create a Wedding Emergency Kit so you’ve got everything you need (here’s a list of what to include)!


Have fun

Seriously, have a blast. Throughout the wedding planning, at the bridal shower, and at the wedding. Have a good time and your bestie will too!

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Kelly Jane Hartmann

Kelly is a former wedding planner and a lover of anything pink. She believes that any bride can plan her own wedding, with a few tips and helpful tools.

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