The ceremony is the only part of the day where the room goes completely quiet to hear what you have to say. It is the literal reason everyone has travelled across the country (and dealt with the M50 on a Friday) to be there. While the dinner and the dancing are the fun part, the wedding ceremony readings and vows are the bits that actually make you married.
Choosing these words can feel a bit like being back in school and staring at a blank page. You want something that sounds like you, but perhaps not exactly like the version of you that argues about whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher. Whether you are going for a traditional church service or a completely bespoke humanist celebration, the right words will set the tone for the whole day.
Know your venue's rules
Before you fall in love with a reading from a contemporary novel or a funny poem about dogs, you need to know what your venue and your solemniser allow. If you are having a Catholic ceremony, the rules are quite specific. The readings during the Liturgy of the Word must be taken from the Bible (the Lectionary), and your priest will usually give you a booklet of approved options to choose from.
This doesn't mean you can't have a personal touch. Many couples include a secular poem or a piece of prose as a reflection after communion or at the very end of the ceremony. However, it is always best to check with your specific parish first, as some are more flexible than others. Denise Lawlor Celebrant and Legal Solemniser can guide you through the legalities and help you understand what works best for your chosen setting, ensuring your service is as unique as you are.
For those opting for a civil, spiritual, or humanist ceremony, the world is your oyster. You can use song lyrics, movie quotes, or even a piece of writing from a friend. Pat Sammon Celebrant & Solemniser specialises in creating ceremonies without stock phrases, focusing instead on your specific values and relationship. This flexibility allows you to build a ceremony that sounds exactly like you, with no scripts involved.
Finding the right readings
When looking for readings, think about the "vibe" of your relationship. Are you the couple that everyone comes to for a laugh, or are you more the quiet, romantic types? You don't have to stick to one style; having one sentimental reading and one lighter, funnier one is a great way to keep your guests engaged. Amanda Horan Celebrant & Solemniser uses her background in creative writing to help couples weave their personal stories into the ceremony structure.
If you are stuck for inspiration, here are a few popular options that work beautifully in an Irish context:
- The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams: A classic choice that talks about how being "Real" happens over time through love and a bit of wear and tear.
I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg: A very sweet, slightly quirky choice that works well if you want something that isn't overly formal.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho: Great for couples who feel like their meeting was a matter of destiny.
A Traditional Irish Blessing: "May the road rise to meet you" is a classic for a reason and always goes down well with the grannies.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the choices, GETMARRIED.IE - Wedding Celebrant and Solemniser can assist with wording your service and even help with your wedding stationery. Having an expert to bounce ideas off can make the process much less daunting.
Writing your own vows
Writing your own vows is arguably the most nerve-wracking part of the process, but it is also the most rewarding. You don't need to be a poet; you just need to be honest. Ceremonies by Sarah - Registered Solemniser emphasizes that your ceremony should be centred on the life you are building together, and your vows are the foundation of that.
If you are worried about the delivery, Chris Place Celebrant & Solemniser brings a calm and steady presence to the day, which can be a huge help if you are prone to a shaky voice when things get emotional. You can choose to write your vows together so they match in tone, or keep them a surprise for the big moment.
Some prompts to get you started include:
- The Little Things: Mention the way they always have a hot water bottle ready for you or how they deal with the spiders.
The Big Promises: Beyond the "in sickness and in health", what do you specifically promise to do for them?
The Journey: A brief nod to where you started and how far you have come as a couple.
For those who want a bit of tradition mixed with modernity, Liz Sherry Celebrant and Registered Solemniser can incorporate Celtic-inspired rituals like hand-fasting alongside your vows. This adds a beautiful visual element to the spoken promises.
It is always a good idea to meet your celebrant before you commit to a script. Colette Dully Wedding Celebrant and Solemniser offers video chats to ensure you have a "fit" with your solemniser, which makes sharing your personal stories and vows much more comfortable.
The short version
- Check the rules: Confirm what your venue and solemniser allow before you start picking secular readings or songs.
Mix the tones: Balance a serious, heartfelt reading with something a bit more light-hearted to keep the atmosphere relaxed.
Keep it personal: Use your vows to mention the small, real-life things that make your relationship work.
Ask for help: Your celebrant is an expert at this, so use their experience to help shape your wedding ceremony readings and vows!
