Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most personal things you can do on your wedding day. It’s also, for many couples, one of the most daunting. The good news is that with a bit of time and the right approach, you’ll have something genuinely beautiful to say. Here’s how to get there.
Featured image credit: Power On Photography
Start early
As soon as you decide to write your own vows, give yourself plenty of time. You don’t need a polished final version straight away, but getting words on paper early means you have something to work with and refine, rather than scrambling the night before.
Set the tone together
Have a conversation with your partner before you both put pen to paper. Would they naturally lean towards something funny, heartfelt, or somewhere in between? If your approaches are worlds apart, it’s worth deciding whether that matters to you. Some couples love the contrast, others prefer their vows to feel like they belong together. There’s no wrong answer.
Keep it short
Aim for around one minute, two at the absolute most. The shorter your vows, the more impact each word carries. For reference, a one-minute speech is roughly 130 words, and traditional Catholic vows come in at around 45. Short and sincere will always land better than long and meandering.
Use existing vows as a starting point
Traditional religious vows are a brilliant blueprint. They all tend to include a name, the word love, a promise, and a nod to the future and to supporting each other through difficult times. If those are the things you want to say too, use them as a loose framework and find your own way of saying them.
Find your inspiration
Think back to words that have moved you: a song lyric, a poem, a passage from a book, or even a reading at someone else’s wedding. Browse a collection of love poems, revisit old favourites, and let yourself be inspired before you start writing.
Write first, edit later
Don’t try to write a perfect first draft. Get everything out of your head and onto the page, then go back and cut what doesn’t need to be there. Once you’ve edited, step away and sleep on it. Reading your vows back with fresh eyes the next day makes a real difference.
Read them out loud
You’re writing something that will be spoken, so read your drafts out loud as you go. You’ll quickly hear where sentences are too long, where the phrasing feels unnatural, and where you naturally pause. It really does work.
Get one trusted opinion
Keep your vows private, but if you want a sense of how they land before the big day, share them with one person you trust completely. Ask for honest feedback, and keep the tissues nearby.
Don’t worry about memorising them
It’s going to be an emotional day. Print your vows on a neat card and read from it. If you practise in front of a mirror beforehand, you’ll find it much easier to look up at your partner while you speak.
Give yourself enough time, and we promise you’ll have something from the heart worth saying.
Looking for someone to help you plan the perfect ceremony? Find celebrants and solemnisers across Ireland on weddingsonline.
