It’s no secret many dads find their daughters’ upcoming nuptials an emotional time. Make it easier for him by considering these simple yet meaningful ways to involve dad in your wedding day – we know he’ll really appreciate it.
Think of something special to give your dad as a present. There are plenty of things to buy and personalise, but maybe it’s time to consider something extra special. For example, do you have digital photos of you and your dad he can’t see when he wants to because they’re on your phone? Get them developed and put into a fancy album, or order one of those pre-printed photo books. You could even add a few more from when you were younger. Or, think of something that’ll make a good future investment, like one of those vintage pocket watches. Also, consider a rare bottle of imported whiskey, a top-class coffee machine if he’s fond of java, or an exclusive set of BBQ utensils… focus more on what he’ll use, rather than something he’ll put away on the shelf.
If your dad asks about finances, your answer will depend on how you’re paying for the wedding. If your parents are covering some of the bills, be sure to have a budget in mind, and be flexible about it. You both have a responsibility – you need to make sure your dad can actually afford to pay for the wedding, while you have to stop him from going bankrupt by wanting to make all your dreams come true. If you’re paying for the wedding yourselves, your dad will likely still want to contribute something. Agree with your fiancé in advance what that amount should be and stick to it – don’t let your dad give you any more. You don’t want him dipping into his retirement fund.
Image from Valerie & Paul’s real wedding by Insight Photography
Ask dad for suggestions on an appropriate gift for your other half. Sure, he may not know your fiancé very well, but you’d be surprised how many good ideas dads have, especially when it comes to buying gifts for other guys. For example, you may be pretty sure the groom wants a set of those fancy silver monogrammed cufflinks. Meanwhile, he may have told your dad he’s dreaming of a box of Cuban cigars. You just never know!
Many dads are the voice of reason, a rock among the females frazzled by all that planning. The trouble is, sometimes they don’t get asked for their opinion. Don’t make that mistake! If you’re undecided about something, stressed, tired or confused, talk to your dad. Not only does he have a fresh pair of eyes to view the problem, he may just be able to give you that one suggestion you didn’t even think of. And you can be totally sure he always has your best interests in mind – you’re his little girl, after all.
Ask your dad HOW he’d like to help. It’s normal for mum to be involved a lot in the planning, but dads usually play second fiddle. He may be ok with that – but you won’t know until you ask him. There may be a few things he’d really like to do, and he may also surprise you by suggesting some great suppliers he knows through work or friends.
Image from Ailish & Vinny’s real wedding by Insight Photography
Discuss your dad’s attire well before the wedding day. It’s often presumed he’ll get his suit at the same place and time as the groom and his merry men, but it’s not always possible. Plus, your dad may not be comfortable with that. Talk to him – tell him what the dress code is, what the rest of the guys are wearing, and discuss the options together. You can book and attend some fitting appointments together too, and why not? It’s a great way to bond with your dad.
Make sure your dad meets your entire wedding party, preferably before the rehearsal. Chances are he’ll already know some of the guys and gals anyway, but it’s a good idea to get everyone together for an informal lunch at home, or an outing to a nearby fun event like a food festival or similar. It’ll make everyone feel more comfortable, especially as it’s likely your mum has already met everyone.
Talk to your dad about the speech. Everyone always says so much about the best man’s or the groom’s speeches, while dads are somewhat left by the wayside. Your dad knows you so well so it’s only right his words should be just as meaningful. While it’s common for the others to keep their speeches secret, feel free to talk to your dad about his – ask him how he feels about giving it, what are some of the things he’d like to say, and whether he’s nervous. Your dad may be relieved to admit he may be too emotional to go through with it.
Image from Debbie & Anthony’s real wedding by Silke Photography
Perhaps your dad would like to do a reading at the ceremony, instead of the customary speech? Some dads prefer this, as it’s a lot less nerve-wracking. There are many religious and non-religious readings to choose from, or perhaps he has a favourite one he’d like to contribute. It’s an idea worth considering.
Ask your dad if he has any special wishes for the morning of your wedding. We know your schedule is probably going to be arranged with military precision, so the sooner you ask him, the easier it will be to incorporate his request. He may like to have a few moments alone with you, or perhaps a picture taken at a particular place? This day will likely be very emotional for him, and he’ll never forget the special consideration you give him.
Ask the photographer to be there to capture the ‘first look’ when your dad sees you in all your wedding finery. This is often one of the most cherished images from the whole day, made especially sweet because so few people are there to witness it.
Image from Marie-Thérèse & Daniel’s real wedding by Aileen Kennedy Photography
Travelling with dad to the ceremony venue and walking down the aisle are a huge part of wedding tradition – it’s one of the customs that isn’t showing any sign of going away. It’s probably the only short time you’ll get to spend alone together all day, so make sure you enjoy it. Talk about how you feel, if you’re nervous or excited. Once you arrive at the ceremony, ask him how he’s feeling, if he’s ready to go in, or maybe he’d like to have a word with someone before you walk in. At this very moment, your dad is your rock – and it’s likely to be one of the things you’ll remember the most about the day.
Make a toast to your dad at the reception. If you’re going to say a few words, add a heartfelt touch by mentioning both your parents separately, and say a few warm words about each one of them. They’ll appreciate it more than you can imagine.
Dance with your dad, after you dance with your other half. You can even choose the song together. If you don’t want to make it into another spectator thing, just ask the DJ or band to play your dad’s fave song at some point during the festivities without announcing it, so you can have a special boogie together without everyone knowing.
Suggest to your dad to join you and your other half in saying goodbye to the guests as they leave the reception. It’s a lovely gesture that’ll make him feel he’s played an important part in the day’s proceedings, all the way to the end. It’s sad but true, dads sometimes feel left out once they walk their daughter down the aisle – but this is one way to make sure he doesn’t.
Image from Amy & Ross’s real wedding by DKPHOTO
Main image from Yvonne & Richard’s real wedding by Michelle Prunty Photography
