I got a text from one of my friends the other day:
“Hey, if I get to see you before all this buying dress stuff starts I’ll get you a survival pack – granola bars, apple juice, baby wipes, deodorant, strapless bra (well, maybe you can provide this yourself), and various other things that will keep you alive and sane during the trip. I may have made a rubbish bridesmaid, but I’m not a bad friend ;)”
She’d been bridesmaid for a friend of hers a few years before, spent the two months before the wedding in India, and was under the impression that her job was to show up on the day and to look pretty. She told me straight I could count her out of the running.
And to be honest I thought this was great! I’ve no sisters but have a bunch of close female friends. I had to pull my bridesmaids’ names from a hat and I knew there would be friends who may have been expecting a turn in a fancy frock who would have to be let down. Luckily Rohan, my intended, wanted four groomsmen so fewer friends were disappointed / relieved.
Because it’s not a great job, is it? By the time you have presented yourself for dress fittings, hair trials, rehearsals and planned a hen party for all your bride’s friends you’ll probably be feeling a bit like YOU need a maid. The perks are pretty good though.
When I was bridesmaid for my sister-in-law, I was very lucky. She was a good bride. She chose very flattering dresses, and gorgeous shoes that I’ve worn a load of times since. We all travelled by limo. The wedding co-ordinator at her chosen hotel was kind of hot. I was grateful for her great taste!
In the interests of me not becoming a bridezilla, this is all I ask of my bridesmaids (I call it the Bridesmaid Manifesto):
– To show up on the day and look pretty.
– To come with me whilst trying on dresses and tell me it doesn’t make me look fat when we both know it sort of does. We won’t be buying that one anyway.
– Not to moan about the colour scheme. Or the photographer. Or you-know-who.
– To come to the hen and have a lot of fun getting to know other people I also love.
– To enjoy the day and look like you’re enjoying your dance with random-friend-of-groom who is your allotted groomsman.
– To laugh at my speech (as in the funny bits!)
– To help me if my eyelashes start to fall off/hair starts to fall down/tights get laddered. Or if my tights start to fall down, hair starts to fall off/relations get bladdered.
– To remember that whether or not I make a rubbish bride, I’m not a bad friend 🙂
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