For those of you who don’t know me, first a little intro. When my fiancé, Mr Mc, and I, first started planning our wedding, I found it difficult to find blogs written from the couples prespective that were relevant to an Irish couple looking to have a wedding that was relaxed and fun, didn’t cost the earth and had some personality about it. So I decided to set one up myself, tinkerbellesbridalblog. As well as charting my journey through the choppy waters of wedding plan, I’ve hopefully developed a useful resource that features a collection of ideas, tips and DIY projects for other brides (and grooms) to be. I’m certainly no wedding expert but as a result of my research for the blog and my day job which involves a lot of event planning a few things have become clear.
Prioritise. Once you get engaged and the excitement and expectations begin to build it can feel like your sucked up by a wedding whirlwind. Floating about in a swirling cloud of taffeta, champagne bubbles, ribbons and rose blossoms it’s easy to lose perspective on what really matters. There is so much wedding stuff’ out there, it’s easy to get blown off course from the wedding you actually wanted in the beginning. So take some time to sit down with your fiancé at an early stage and decide what are the things which are most important to you both for the day, what are the nice-to-haves’ and what are the can-do-withouts’. Then write it all down and allocate your budget accordingly. The list will ensure you stick to your guns n’roses and avoid giving in to glossy wedding magazine induced desires that can seriously eat into your precious wedding budget. Remember the wedding you both set out to achieve and do what it takes (within reason, budget and the law) to achieve it all the other stuff’ is nonsense.
Use your Imagination. This is your day, it should look and feel like your day, not a copy and paste’ version of every wedding you’ve ever been too. Reflect your personalities in creative ways throughout the day. There are countless ways to do this, through your clothes, the music, the venue, the invites. DIY with care. Regular readers of my blog will know I’m a big fan of DIY wedding projects. They are a great way to personalise the day and make some serious savings but it can be easy to take on too much and most brides don’t picture themselves elbow deep in sticky back tape and scissors on the morning of their wedding so chose your projects with care. The further in advance they can be done the better and remember most family and friends will be only delighted to lend a hand.
Learn the art of compromise. I have a real stubborn streak and hate it when I don’t get my own way so this one is a tricky one for me. Yes, it is you and your fiancé’s big day and of course what you both want should take precedence but remember it’s also a big day for your loved ones. It’s inevitable that some of their expectations will differ from your own and this can lead to disagreements. Try and see things from their perspective and once it’s not going to fundamentally change what you have planned for the day, be prepared to give in and every now and then. I’ve heard rumours that compromise is a big part of marriage, so think of it as practice!
Remember, you’re planning a wedding not figuring out how to stop global warming. It’s very easy to get totally absorbed in planning your wedding and for everything else in your life to seem suddenly less important. Your wedding is just one day, twenty four hours and it will be all over. Try and keep a perspective on things and if you find that the W’ word just keeps worming its way into your conversations, set yourself limits on how much you can think or talk about it each day. I speak from experience on this one – my Dad’s introduction of a 30 minute rule in the run up to my sister’s wedding, limiting wedding-related conversations to a half an hour, stopped us from floating off into wedding la-la-la anytime there were two or more women in the house.
Set a cut off date then delegate. The last few days before your wedding should be fun and exciting, not fraught with stress. Things like mass booklets and favours should be done and dusted long before the big day. Plan to get everything that you can do in advanced finished a week before the wedding and then delegate any of the things that have to be done last minute. If you give plenty of notice and ask politely most friends and family will be only too happy to get involved and lend a hand.
Don’t worry, Be married! I’ve never been to a wedding where something didn’t go wrong. Florists mix up the dates, cakes get damaged, dresses get trod on this is the universal truth about weddings. Your wedding will be no different! It’s akin to a basic law of physics, something always goes wrong at a wedding. I have it on good authority from women of many different generations that faced with this inevitably, brides (and indeed grooms) are left with only one real course of action. On the morning of your wedding, when you wake up (assuming you managed to sleep), remind yourself of the fact that today you will marry your favourite person in the whole world. Even if your driver doesn’t show up, they play the wrong music at the church and they burn the main course at the reception , that fact makes you the luckiest person on the planet and nothing is going to stop you from having an amazing day.
