Every planning journey is different, but with each of these planning stages, you know you are getting ever closer to the day. And when you reach the final one, you will be practically at the church door! Let’s see where you are right now and what’s still ahead.
Above photo from Brenda & Scott’s real wedding by The Fennells
You get engaged and suddenly you have extra friends
So you start this wedding journey with a ring (it could be a tattoo, whatever you wish). The ring seems to have some superpowers, because you are getting a lot of new attention. At work, from your distant family… some days, you feel like everyone’s favourite person. It’s great, isn’t it? And everyone wants to know everything about the wedding too! Ah, life is good. At this stage, be as enthusiastic as you like, but don’t invite everyone to the wedding. You will soon need a football pitch!
The Questions…
When you get together, people ask, ‘when are you getting engaged?’ Then you get engaged, people ask, ‘when are you getting married?’ Then you set the date, and they say, ‘where are you going on your honeymoon?’ Mark our words, on the day of the wedding, they will be asking about houses and babies if you don’t have them already. The questions always seem to be one step ahead of your own life.
Above image from Shangri-La’s Boracay Resort and Spa, Philippines
You get an irresistible urge to say yes to everything
At the start, every budget looks healthy and strong, even if it’s small. With your smarts, spreadsheets and calculators, there’s no way you’ll go over, right? Sure, until you start seeing things you love, and that will be EVERYTHING. Your other half may also confess he’s always wanted to arrive at his own wedding in a… Batmobile. You may have been a big fan of a small budget, but then you saw a castle and you fell in love. Hold your horses, if you can! Once you get past this turning point, all money decisions will be easier. And speaking of decisions…
Decision exhaustion
Who knew there were so many decisions to be made? As one bride we know said, ‘I never thought I’d be worrying about the colour of napkins’. Anyone you go to see, they just ask you more questions. Your email inbox is bursting at the seams too. Was there ever really a time when you thought this would be FUN? When you reach this planning stage, all you need is a bit of a break. Unless you have to give someone an answer by tomorrow, ignore them! Arrange as much wedding-free time as your commitments allow, and come back ready to tackle the rest.
The arguing phase
Yep, it happens to every couple. We’d venture to say, we never met a couple whose planning was one joyous trip towards the altar. Couples argue over everything: too little help, too much help, spending too much, spending on wrong things, stag and hen dos, the size of wedding… you name it, a battle has been fought over it. If you reach this difficult planning stage, is your wedding doomed? Of course not! Think of it as a good chance to practice the art of compromise. It will come in handy for your married years.
The making of the guest list
The guest list can come with its fair share of drama – from your Dad trying to wangle an invite for a golf buddy to your MIL suggesting you invite a cousin your OH hasn’t seen in 10 years! Here’s a good tip before you even start: agree, from the very beginning, that you’ll back each other up no matter what. This way, anyone who tries to influence (bribe, threaten) you about adding or removing someone, they will have to face the two of you standing united. Seal the deal with a high five, and consider this battle won. Until…
Above image from Lorna & Andrew’s real wedding by Mark Donovan Photography
Eloping seems like an attractive idea
This usually happens around two-thirds into the planning. For some reason, you thought things would get less hectic as the big day draws nearer… but in fact, it’s quite the opposite. When you reach the most frustrating moment of all time, you’ll turn to your other half and say, ‘hey, how about we run away?’ You will actually seriously consider this for a second. And then… you’ll either do it, or you’ll wake up tomorrow giggling about how silly you both were. All those deposits you’d lose!
The worry…
… That you won’t have enough – of everything! What if there’s not enough food? What if people are bored – do I need more entertainment? As the day gets closer it’s easy to second-guess absolutely every decision you’ve made along the way and wedding worries set in. And of course you start to play out worst possible scenarios in your head as well like the car getting lost on the way to the ceremony or the priest not showing up. Worry not, a team of wedding professionals have your back and do this day in, day out. And people know they’re not attending a festival or carnival. They’re there to see two people they care about celebrate and will be happy with a good meal and some dancing.
Photo from Samantha & Barry’s real wedding by Kevin Morris Photography
The panic something will go wrong
Repeat after us: something WILL go wrong at the wedding, and it won’t be a big deal. It’s completely true, you know. In the end, when your guests are all downing champagne, loving the food, and laughing all the way until the last boogie, it won’t matter that they got served a different dessert, or the schedule ran a bit over time. The next morning, you will say, so what? It was still a wonderful wedding and nobody noticed a thing. Now where’s our breakfast?
The total conviction you are doing the right thing
As if by magic, you get the best feeling: total confidence in your decision. It’s just a few days before the wedding now, and you simply can’t wait. You know you will be standing beside the love of your life, in front of people who care about you, saying loud and proud how you feel. And then, you’ll eat the fabulous food you chose, party all night long, and wake up very happy (and probably very dishevelled) the next day. This is it. You’re almost there!
