We’re always surprised at just how much bad wedding advice well-meaning people can give! Whether it’s for planning, for harmonious marriage, or for fashion, most couples have heard at least one thing that made them go ‘huh?’ Has it happened to you? We’d love to hear about it – in the meantime, here are some examples of the worst wedding advice brides have heard.
“You SHOULD… “
The only thing you ‘should’ be doing is making sure you’re legally wed, and that the wedding is exactly how you want it.
“Ask your talented friends to DJ, photograph the wedding, bake the cake, act as your wedding planner, sew the bridesmaids’ dresses, or make the bouquets, instead of hiring professional suppliers.”
When you hire a supplier, there’s a contract, a payment, and if they let you down, there’s wedding insurance. But if your friends let you down, there’s nothing you can do – and we’re very sorry to say, but it happens with an alarming regularity. A wedding is much too important an occasion to take such a big chance. Find something smaller for your friends to help with, and leave the big stuff to the professionals.
“You should leave for your honeymoon immediately after the wedding.”
It sounds romantic, but the truth looks a little bit different – you’ll likely be exhausted after your big day, so enduring a long flight and jet lag is the last thing you’ll want to deal with. Give yourself a day or two to recover or plan a mini-moon close to home to relax and rest, and take your proper honeymoon a little bit later – you’ll have something wonderful to look forward to and get excited about.
“Keep a girl or two in mind as a ‘reserve’, so if you fire one of your first-choice bridesmaids, you’ll know who to ask to replace her.”
Nothing says “you were my second choice” like asking… your second choice. Believe us, even if you do the asking in the nicest possible way, your replacement candidate will know she wasn’t your preferred option. The only time this is ok is when the original bridesmaid drops out for reasons beyond her control – she gets pregnant and her due date is dangerously close to your wedding date, she’s offered a work contract overseas, or personal issues prevent her from attending your wedding.
“Put all the singles at one table – it’ll make a great story if they start dating, and then you’ll end up dancing at their wedding.”
A singles table should go back to the 1980s where it belongs – nothing puts pressure on your single guests than sitting at the same table, and knowing very well why they’re there… because someone thought they would help them out in relationship stakes.
“One of your guests/older kids/bridesmaids will babysit the kids at the wedding – you’ll save money on a wedding nanny.”
Inviting someone to your wedding and then expecting them to work is just plain rude. Especially if you announce this to them upon their arrival, giving them no chance to say ‘no’. Kids can be a handful – and the unfortunate person won’t get to do what they came to do… which is enjoy seeing you get married and help you celebrate your happiness. Hire a wedding nanny.
“You don’t need wedding insurance.”
Yes you do. Have you seen how little it costs? It’s a very small price to pay for peace of mind. You’re trusting a lot of people to come through for you flawlessly, and unfortunate things do happen. You would never dream of spending a substantial amount on anything without protecting it first – so don’t do it for your wedding.
“If you have your wedding abroad, only the people who truly care about you will be there.”
No, no and no. There will be people who care AND can afford it. There will be plenty of people missing who care and love you very much, but for totally legit reasons – expense, work, childcare, lack of holiday time, other family events – won’t be able to come. It’s like asking people to spend money to prove they really care about you.
“You can always get divorced.”
This is not ok to say, ever. If we may be perfectly honest, you may have that thought when your feet get cold a bit – but you’ll always return to being sure you’re doing the right thing. You’re planning a milestone event here – it’s ok to be nervous, and shows you have a heart. But being told ‘you can always get divorced’ is NOT ok, ever ever ever. If anyone says that to you, tell them to keep their opinion to themselves.
Main photo from Ruth & John’s real wedding by Emma Russell Photography
