OMG, there are so many rude things people say to brides. Why is that? Do brides give off some special vibes, something like ‘nothing you say to me can wipe the smile off my face’? Because… hmm… that’s not true. It’s like the wedding gives people permission to say whatever they want. Here are 35 rude things people say to brides before, during and after the wedding. Any of these happened to you yet? If not, brace yourself.
1. Can I come to your wedding?
2. Why did you wait so long to get married?
3. Why are you in such a hurry to get married? Shotgun wedding?
4. Don’t worry, you can always get divorced.
5. Did you know 4 out of 5 marriages end in divorce?
6. Marriage changes EVERYTHING, so you should really think about it carefully.
7. Are you going to lose weight for the wedding?
8. (in front of your other half) Oh, this is the other half? I thought you still carried a torch for *name of an ex*?
9. I have something else to do that day, but will it be ok if I come just to the reception? What time does dinner start, and is there an open bar?
10. How much was your engagement ring?
11. That’s your ring? It’s so… dainty, I need my glasses to see it.
12. Who’s paying for all this?
13. Shouldn’t you spend your money on a deposit for a house instead?
14. Your wedding is too small. It’s like, it may as well not be there. It doesn’t count unless you have at least 300 guests.
15. Why is your wedding so small? Do you know how many more gifts you’d get if you invite more guests?
16. You’re getting married where? Oh, I’ve been to a wedding there, and it was a mess, so good luck.
17. Your bridesmaids are wearing black? Do you want your wedding to look like a funeral or something?
18. Did you know how much it will cost me to go to your wedding? You could at least get me a free (fill in the blank).
19. I’m gonna get really drunk at your wedding, so I’ll need a free place to stay after. K, thnx.
20. Oh, you invited so-and-so? I’m not coming. It’s them or me.
21. Did you invite so-and-so? I can’t stand them, don’t put me at the same table.
22. I’m cool with your kids-free wedding, but I can bring my baby, 3-year-old, and 8-year-old, right? They won’t bother anyone, don’t worry, they’re very well behaved.
23. What do you mean, adults-only? My kids are part of this family too, so if they’re not coming, I’m not coming either.
24. No kids at the wedding? What, do you hate kids or something?
25. You are not having speeches, first dance, cake cutting, something blue? (delete as appropriate). Your marriage is doomed.
26. I didn’t RSVP because you know I wouldn’t miss your wedding, right? I know everyone has to RSVP, but I didn’t think I had to.
27. (one of the groomsmen, probably) I’m gonna get the groom so drunk, he won’t be able to ‘perform’ on wedding night! Heh heh.
28. (receives invitation) I don’t have any allergies, but don’t like this menu, can I have something else?
29. (after the ceremony) It was all lovely, but I thought it could have been more emotional. Like, nobody cried.
30. (during a speech) Well, Patrick always said he will never ever get married, but I guess the old ball-and-chain got to him at last! Welcome to prison, buddy boy! Waaaaay.
31. (at the reception) I live-streamed your wedding on Facebook and got millions of likes already! Oops, I hope that’s ok with you?
32. (also at the reception) I’m loving your wedding! When I get married, I want to have one exactly the same, except bigger and better, and with an open bar. And Justin Bieber. Or Drake.
33. (still at the reception) It’s a lovely wedding, how much was it?
34. Sorry we missed the start of your reception, we took a detour to McDonald’s.
35. So when are you having a baby?
