Oh the joys of wedding invitations and guest lists. You’ve spent ages designing your invitations and sending them out. You’ve probably received lovely messages and RSVPs from excited guests. And then… BAM… a message from a guest who is confused, concerned, or maybe even angry. “WHY WASN’T I INVITED?”.
I’ll start with this: There’s no way you’ll make everybody happy. Just face it. But, I think there are a few phrases you could use if somebody asks you why they aren’t invited.
Don’t announce it
We see funny “You can’t come to our wedding” cards all the time. Those are a cute and cheeky way to announce that you’ve eloped and nobody was invited.
We certainly aren’t suggesting that you TELL guests that they aren’t invited. The advice in today’s post is all about what to do if somebody approaches you and asks why they weren’t invited. So please don’t send out cards to guests who didn’t make the cut.
Be discreet
We highly recommend not disclosing too much information. We’ll give you some “copy and paste” messages you can send to tell someone they aren’t invited to your wedding. When having those conversations, keep it simple and don’t say too much. Don’t get into the specifics of how many people you’re inviting or how you’re choosing guests. Be vague and be kind.
Blame your budget
“We would love to have you there with us, but because of our tight budget, we’ve had to be quite brutal in chopping down our guest list and we aren’t able to invite as many people as we wanted to. I’d love to find time for a one-on-one visit afterwards!”
Reinforce the intimate wedding
“We so wish we could invite everybody, but we made the difficult decision to just keep the wedding very small. It’s mostly just close family. I’m so sorry we can’t extend an invitation”
Blame your venue/family
“Our venue comes with some pretty strict limitations on the number of guests we can invite. The process of creating our guest list has been really difficult for us and it’s mostly taken up by very close family and the wedding party.”
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how articulate you are, people are allowed to feel disappointed. Remember that their feelings of disappointment are routed in love, they want to be with you on your Big Day. You aren’t responsible for their disappointment and you can’t control it, but you can try your best to be respectful and kind.
