Nobody except the weddingsonline crew, of course! You could use all the checklists in all the land, and still find many surprises – good and not so good – along your wedding planning journey. Let’s have a look at a few things nobody tells you about wedding planning, shall we?
You’ll love wedding planning at first – and then you’ll not love it so much
Getting started is awesome – what’s not to like? Venue tours, cake tasting, dress shopping, major love from the newly chosen bridesmaids… it’s all fabulous and so much fun! But at some point, you may find yourself falling out of love with planning – and it won’t be your fault. Someone will get stroppy about the guestlist. You’ll be given far too much unwanted advice. One of your bridesmaids will suddenly have a personality transplant, and you’ll start wishing you never asked her. At one point, you may just find yourself thinking ‘I wish I’d eloped’. But don’t worry! This all passes.
Saying ‘no’ to people is seriously difficult
Some of us have no problem saying ‘no’, while some other of us – very much so. Even if you’re an assertive person, you may just be surprised how your resolve will suddenly wobble… and you’ll agree to a few things you had no intention of accepting. We’d like to tell you – it’s ok! It’s your wedding, and you deserve to have it exactly the way you want. If you’re really struggling, say ‘I’ll ask my other half and get back to you’ instead.
Your other half will inevitably surprise you
You think you know your significant other like you know yourself. But a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event – so people sometimes act in a once-in-a-lifetime way. If your other half’s usual uniform is slouch-casual, they’ll suddenly discover the joy of cufflinks and cravats. They’ve never shown any interest in pop music – turns out they know all Simply Red songs by heart, and want at least 20 on the party playlist. Or, they’re simply not as interested as you expected them to be – they just want to turn up at their own wedding. Of all the things nobody tells you about wedding planning, this is a biggie.
Image from Juliana & Adam’s real wedding by Paul Duane Photography
It’s really, really hard to match unusual hues
Gold, red, purple – everyone knows what they look like. But as soon as you get into dusty rose, periwinkle blue or jade green, you’ll discover everyone has a different idea of what they look like. Plus, there’s always the pesky online ordering – what you saw on the screen is not what arrives in the post. You’ll learn pretty quickly to never go shopping without a sample to match things to. And when ordering online, the return policy will really matter.
People who aren’t invited may not be keen on wedding small talk
Every bride should be enthusiastic about her wedding – it’s one of the most exciting events of a lifetime! But it’s best to curb your enthusiasm around people who aren’t invited. You’ve got all that new wedding lingo you picked up, amazing bargains you found, and your cake will be out of this world… but they won’t give your news the response it deserves. It’s best to share with people who are actually involved, and keep it to the important stuff. And remember, there’s life outside the wedding too, which you should be enjoying with your mates the same way you did before you got engaged. Which brings us nicely to the next point…
Time-out is as important as time-in
You simply must take time out from planning. At first, when it’s all fun, you might be wishing you could spend every waking hour doing it. But, inevitably, there will be a turning point (see the very first item on this list!) You simply must take time off for normal life things. We suggest wedding-free days during the week, one completely wedding-free weekend per month, or anything else that works for you. Spend this time with your other half, do things you loved doing before you became engaged, and hang out with people who are in no way connected to your plans. Trust us, it’s going to be a game-changer.
Photo from Niamh & Paddy’s real wedding by Marcella Doran, Your Dream Wedding in Spain
If you buy loads of stuff, it may be hard to get rid of it afterwards
So you’ve bought eight apple crates to create a decorative masterpiece outside the venue… 40 candle holders – four for each table… 54 meters of tulle – because decor… and 180 paperweights as favours – because they’re awesome and from IKEA. What will you do with all of it after the wedding? You’ll be surprised how many future brides don’t want to buy other brides’ used things. Listing everything on eBay will take ages, most things will sell for 99 cents, and then you’ll be standing in queues at the post office until the staff know you by name. There’s a better way! Ask the venue if they have anything you could borrow, or hire everything. And make favours edible, or buy lottery tickets. Done!
Get everything in writing
If a supplier or a wedding coordinator at the venue promises you something extra (for free, or for a small additional charge that’s too good to miss), ask them to confirm it in writing! It’s not rude – it’s good common sense. It’s how you avoid arguments, double bookings, and also how you get refunds.
Sewing takes a lot longer than you imagine
Ha! This is a true-life scenario we’ve heard of again and again. Someone’s aunt, grandma or friend says ‘I’d be so happy if you let me make the bridesmaids’ dresses’. Who’d say no? It’s so nice, and you could have the exact design you want, for much less than you expected to spend. But… don’t be surprised if they’re still not finished on the day of the wedding. For this to work, it needs to be done waaaay in advance. Or ask them to make just one dress. Or just invest in safety pins and hope for the best.
DIY isn’t for everyone
Since about 2012, it seems a wedding isn’t complete without at least one bit made lovingly by the couple with their own bare hands. Some brides see more glue than their own fiancé. And we’re sure many feel their wedding would be criticised if it didn’t have that DIY aspect. Please believe us when we say – DIY isn’t for everyone, and your wedding won’t be any less amazing without it. Here are some great ways to personalise without any crafting accidents whatsoever.
Photo from Roseanne and Emmet’s real wedding by David Maury Photography
Main photo from Aisling & Michael’s Real Wedding by ATL Photography
