While it’s not every bride’s plan to sabotage her own wedding day, nevertheless there are things some ladies do to set themselves up for some serious wedding day regrets. We’re not talking however of choosing a bridesmaid who didn’t care less about your hen night (that’s covered in How to Choose your Bridesmaids) or hiring your Dad’s golfing buddy’s son as your photographer (that’s covered in the almost daily anecdotes you’ll come across about amateur suppliers as you plan the Big Day), we’re talking now about things you do in the 24/48 hours of your wedding day itself that will make things a little less rosy. Of course newlyweds feel free to disagree with our points and add your own in the comment sections below!
- Not sleeping the night before
We know, this piece of advice is comically unhelpful for people who still have difficulty getting some shut eye on Christmas Eve at thirty two years of age. The night before your wedding you’ll be a bag of crazy emotions and your mind won’t only be racing, it’ll be doing a full-on Sonia O’Sullivan kick every two and a half minutes. Most newlyweds will confirm that in the week running up to the wedding day, sleep is sporadic at best and the night before is close to impossible. Still, you need to do everything in your power to give yourself over to it. One trick is to try to get to bed at the same time every night on the run up to the Big Day so that even if you’re a ball of stress, you’ll be used to winding down before 12. The day before make sure to get some exercise, limit your caffeine, delegate jobs and finalise as much as humanely possible. That night have a bath or a massage, read a book, write a ‘to do list’, turn down the lights and tell yourself there’s time in the morning to worry. And even if you think having a few drinks will put you to sleep faster, avoid the bar – a raging hangover does not a happy wedding morning make.
- Drinking too much
A lot of newlyweds are very slow to admit being a little tipsy on their Big Day, sure is there anything more embarrassing than spending all that money on the day and being a bit sketchy about the details of it afterwards?! Of course when it comes to Big Day booze it’s easy to think hey, I think I’ve learned how much I can and can’t drink thank you very much, I won’t be sipping from a hip flask on the way up the aisle or anything! But we’re not talking queuing at the bar or shouting SHOTS as soon as your Dad’s done with his speech, we’re talking about sneaky albeit polite staff, friends and even the hubby constantly topping up your glass throughout the day making it impossible to measure how much you’ve had by the time you cut the cake. By all means enjoy a Champagne toast, a glass of wine with dinner (watch out for the red, of course), or even little brandy in the morning (awh who else misses The Royle Family?) but keep an eye on those ninja-like servers, or you may find yourself in bed by the time the band arrive.
Photo by Michelle Prunty Photography
- Not eating anything
The opposite to drinking too much (and indeed a direct cause of the Champagne toast having a rather undesired effect) is not eating enough. One of the things we always advise brides to pencil in, underline and highlight on their morning plan is to have breakfast, even if it’s a banana or a sausage on some toast; Eat something. Yes you’re going to be feeling super anxious and excited and probably not at all in the mood to sit down for a full Irish fry (mm hmm, wedding nerves make you crazy) but force yourself to eat something small before getting on your dress and make-up, or you’ll regret it when your stomach gets more of a say in your vows than your heart does. This goes for the rest of the day too – pop some water and a snack or two into the wedding car to nibble on after the ceremony if it’s miles away from your venue, and grab some protein at your drinks reception (don’t worry, the photographer won’t include the pics in your album, silly). And while you don’t necessarily have to eat the whole three course dinner (but we literally have no idea why you wouldn’t after all those deliciously stressful tasting menu days) – when guests tell you how much they loved the wedding meal, it’d be nice to be able to agree with them!
Photo by Circus Photography
- Wearing uncomfortable shoes
So many brides plan to break in their shoes before the Big Day and never get around to it. Big no no. In fact, we’d almost advice you to wear a pair of heels that are a year old instead of tempting fate with a pair of untested kicks. We come across this again and again – brides opting for knock off Louboutins (given that a fair few of the authentic ones are car-to-bars), thinking they need to wear four inchers when they’ve never donned more than a kitten heel, or saying to themselves I’m sure I’ll be so excited I won’t even notice the blood pooling between my toes. Okay maybe some dodgy shoes won’t ruin your day, but they will take the concentration away from some of those all important moments. Break them in, go for comfort or at least have a pair of old faithfuls on hand for the afters.
- Wearing an uncomfortable dress
We’ve put this after uncomfortable shoes as it’s a lot less likely brides will take a chance on wearing an uncomfortable, unflattering wedding dress than a pair of shoes nobody will notice. Yes that Vera Wang-esque mermaid gown is hella hot, but it’s cutting off the circulation to your legs and if you so much as look at a canapé the buttons are a goner. An uncomfortable wedding dress may look great but it’ll leave you in a miserable mood for the day and you won’t be able to sit or stand without cursing all that is white in the world (we won’t even get into the toilet situation). That’s why it’s so important to go for dress fittings and get your gown from a reputable wedding dress boutique who wouldn’t even allow you out of their store unless your dress fits like a glove. It’s also why it’s important to be realistic about how much weight you’ll lose if that’s what you plan to do before the Big Day.
Photo by Eden Photography
- Trying to spend time with every guest
This sort of depends on the size of your wedding and to be honest if you’re having a wedding celebration with twenty of your closest friends and don’t have a chance to talk to each one of them, you’re doing it wrong. Yes of course it’s lovely to get to sit down for a chat with your guests on the Big Day and guests do really really appreciate a minute with the bride and groom, but in some cases it’s impossible – couples who have children can disappear from time to time, elder guests may leave early, some guests will actively avoid you because they don’t want to ‘get in the way’ – there’s a whole host of reasons you might not see everybody for a one on one. Of course the best way around this is to go traditional with a receiving line after the ceremony, but for those who’d rather elope than have to endure the personal discomfort of the meet ‘n’ greet, just try to get around to a few people at dinner and at drinks afterwards. By all means do try to get to people but don’t ruin your day by running around like a blue fly and ticking people off the list. Not fun.
Photo by Circus Photography
- Having a whole list of people to pay on the day
This is where delegating comes in to play for most people. Some couples have a list as long as their arm of suppliers to pay on the day, but my lord if this is not the worst waste of time you can imagine we don’t know what is! The easiest thing to do is to square off the financial stuff before the Big Day, if possible. If not, this is a good one to give to the Dads (after all they probably didn’t get a look in when it came to choosing the wedding dress or chair covers) – get your envelopes ready with the names of suppliers, what they do, their number or other contact details written on each envelope and tell your pop not to forget to give them out (although the supplier will probably remind you if he does). Minimising anything boring or stressful you’ve to do on the day is about planning beforehand.
- Letting things get to you (like the weather!)
Did the harpist play the wrong entrance song? Has your cousin arrived with an uninvited date on his arm? Is your colleague boldly sporting a rather glamorous crisp white guna and acting like the Queen of Sheba? Either let it go or get somebody else to deal with it. One of the things brides advise over and over again in our real weddings is that yes, no matter how much prep you do, things will go wrong on the day or may not turn out exactly how you imagined them but the only way to deal with the undealable is to brush it off. Don’t get mad and scream, don’t go looking for a corner to stew in and don’t let it take away from the amazing parts of the day, or you’ll only have yourself to blame.
Main image by Elizabeth Messina
