Oof, this is a tricky one to navigate. If you’re wondering what to do if you hate your bridesmaids dress, then this is for you!
First up: it’s usually the bride who chooses what everybody will wear and often this is a representation of the theme of the wedding and the bride’s style. So, keep in mind that the dress usually isn’t meant to highlight you.
Brides always go out of their way to pick something that’s flattering on most body types but sometimes you just hate the dress! It may be that your style and the bride’s are different and the dress just isn’t something you love. Or it might be that the dress doesn’t fit you properly and it’s actually unwearable.
What to do if you hate your bridesmaids dress
If this is you… well, you have some options:
Smile and wear the dress. Keep in mind that the day isn’t about you and just put the dress on. The whole ‘hating the bridesmaids dress thing’ is a bit of a rom com trope that is a bit overdone. If you don’t like the dress, one option is to just wear it and remember that this isn’t about you.
Remember why you’re there. The whole reason you’re even in this predicament is because you’ve accepted the invitation to be somebody’s bridesmaid. It’s an incredible honour to stand with your friend and to support her on the happiest day of her life. If the dress choice has got you down, refocus your energy into making this day amazing for her!
Think about the accessories. Your wedding look isn’t made up entirely of a dress. You’ve got your accessories, shoes, bag, hair and makeup. There might be elements of the look that are chosen for you and some that the bride is happy for you to customise. Provided that you aren’t picking things that are distracting, lean into how the accessories make you feel confident if the dress doesn’t!
Talk to the bride about how you feel. Let me stress that this is only an option if you have a valid reason for needing a new dress (it’s too expensive or it fits really badly or not at all). Ask if there’s some flexibility in dress choice and explain your reasoning. Have some photos of backup options to show her.
If this is the option you’ve chosen, be sure to share openly, honestly and kindly. Don’t diss the dress, but rather explain why you would like to wear something else. If the bride suggests something else and you don’t like that either, just let it go and wear the damn dress.
If you’re a bride…
Here are some options for you so you can avoid this awkward situation:
Choose a dress that will flatter everyone. You may want to choose a multiway dress where each bridesmaid can wrap it so it accentuates her best features.
Think about all budget types. If you are not paying for the dress in full and your bridesmaids are paying half or the whole price, then consider all budget types. Don’t assume that everyone can afford the dress (and all the other expenses associated with being a bridesmaid).
Get their opinions. Select a few dresses that you think will fit with the style of the wedding and share the options with your bridesmaids. Ask for their honest feedback and tell them you want them to love the dress.
Allow them to choose their own dresses. Ultimately, most women feel comfortable in a dress they’ve picked themselves. If you relax about how put together everyone will be and you’re ok with different dresses then this is your best option. You could have them all in the same colour but different styles, or totally different dresses in a similar colour palette.
Friendship always wins over wedding day aesthetics so if you can make your girls feel comfortable and happy, then do it!
