Today, we’re having a little bit of fun! I asked you to share your wedding icks with me, and boy, you delivered. I got so many responses from people who have experienced some truly icky things at weddings.
I’m joined by a special guest, my husband Glen, and we’re chatting through some of the wedding icks you sent in. Along the way, we’ll drop some pearls of wisdom and some creative ways to avoid giving your guests – and yourself – the ick.
Before we begin: there’s no judgement here. We’re having a little bit of fun and seeing what people love and don’t love about weddings they’ve attended.
Episode breakdown
The groom
“Massive wedding ick: depictions of the groom not wanting to be there. He’s been dragged away from his PlayStation or he’s in handcuffs going up the aisle or his shoes have “help me” on the soles or whatever. Gross. Pretend you like your wife, man.”
Totally agree!!
Things guests do
“People asking “how much did ya make in cards” (disgusting).”
Just don’t. As a guest, never ask any questions about how much money couples got in their cards or how much money they spent on the wedding.
Do this instead: comment on how well planned the wedding is or on how lovely the guests are. And leave it at that.
Speeches
“Overly lovey dovey speeches. I did the mushy lovey dovey part in private – though a sentimental gift. I kept the speech tame but sweet at the same time.”
“The 30/40 minute speeches …. I gave each of ours a 3 minute deadline… make it short”
“The grooms vows or speech being really crude and disrespectful”
If you want to coordinate your wedding speeches in such a way that they are memorable for all the right reasons, here are some tips:
- Tell each speech-giver how much time they have (I recommend giving them each 3 minutes).
- Let them each know if there is something specific you want them to cover (like the traditional thank yous).
- Don’t START with speeches. Feed your guests first. You could do starters, then a couple of speeches, mains then the rest of the speeches.
For the gram
“Very very controversial: change of dress! You probably paid a fortune for a dress you’ll probably never wear again! Make the most of it. Plus: second dress will hardly beat the first one!”
“Anything that’s done specifically for social media clout, or because a celebrity did it.”
Of course you want your wedding to be beautiful, but don’t feel pressure to do something just because it’s trendy or someone else has done it before.
If you’re a stylist or your guests know you’re super into fashion, then having two dresses is awesome. It’s not the thing you do that makes it icky, it’s the reasoning (don’t do it just because it’s cool or different – do it because you want to).
The greeting after the ceremony
“The greeting after the ceremony. I hate people touching me and I was so uncomfortable during it. Felt we had to do as otherwise we would seem rude. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t do it.”
“This. I’m not a hugger I cringe when someone hugs me my photographer made us hug over 100 people coming out of the venue it didn’t matter that its all family and friends I never felt so uncomfortable in my life I wish I’d said no”
“The greeting line after the ceremony I don’t like it at all”
“Greeting line after the ceremony 100%. I tried to avoid it at ours but it was a non negotiable for my husband.”
Lots of people have the ick about doing this at their own wedding!! The truth is, you don’t HAVE to greet everyone after the ceremony.
Here’s something you could do instead: the reception photo game (this also avoids going around to each table and greeting people – something you may not have time to do).
You and your new spouse sit on chairs on the dance floor, with your photographer ready to take pictures.
Then, one table at a time, people will come up and pose with you for a photo.
You could have a really fun song playing, some props ready, and make it a hilarious experience. You’ll have a moment with everyone without having to hug them all or make small talk. You’ll also have more time for the rest of the night where you can choose to have meaningful conversations or party on the dance floor.
Things couples don’t want to do at their own wedding
“First look before the ceremony. Sorry but just not for me!!”
“Also not doing a first dance, I know it’s our day but the idea of everyone looking at us dancing ( something that doesn’t come natural to either of us) is just doesn’t appeal to me.”
“No to the top table.”
Now these things give people the ick because they don’t want to do them at their own wedding… not because it’s icky when other couples do it.
There’s no real trick here other than to do what you want to do and let go of the rest. You have permission to have your wedding your way!
Children at the wedding
“I actually hate when children are excluded from events as I’ve 10 year old so kids are welcome”
“Couples being afraid to say they want a child free wedding so it doesn’t cause an argument, it’s your day your way.”
The real ick is not including children when you really want to, or including children when it’s just not for you.
