Not sure if you want a small elopement, a quick registry office wedding, or the full ‘big day’ experience? You’re not alone – this is one of the first big decisions couples face when they get engaged.
Here’s why it matters: It shapes your budget, guest list, planning process, and the feel of your wedding day. But more than that, it’s about choosing what actually suits you as a couple.
In today’s episode, I’ll walk you through the pros and cons of each option – eloping, registry weddings, and big weddings – and give you some questions to ask yourselves to help make the decision confidently.
BIG PICTURE: YOU HAVE THREE MAIN OPTIONS
- Elopement:
Small, intentionally intimate, usually with fewer than 10–20 guests. Often outdoors, scenic, or destination-based – and very popular in Ireland for couples from abroad. - Registry Office Wedding:
A no-frills, civil ceremony at a registry office – often short, simple, and cost-effective. - Big Wedding:
Traditional or large-scale celebration with a full guest list, full-day experience, and all the suppliers (venue, dress, flowers, music, photography, etc).
OPTION BREAKDOWN — PROS & CONS + WHO IT’S BEST FOR
1. Elopement / Small Wedding
Perfect for couples who:
- Crave intimacy over tradition
- Want to avoid drama and pressure
- Love the idea of a scenic, unique location
- Prefer spending money on a beautiful experience vs. entertaining a big group
Pros:
- Less stress, less planning
- Budget can go further per guest
- Can still involve meaningful suppliers (photographer, celebrant, planner)
- Ireland is amazing for this – cliffs, castles, coastlines – and more and more couples from abroad are coming here to elope!
Cons:
- May upset some family or friends who aren’t invited
- You might miss the big crowd energy (if that matters to you)
Planner Tip:
You can still make a small wedding feel ‘big’ in experience – with thoughtful touches and amazing photos. Just because it’s intimate doesn’t mean it’s basic.
2. Registry Office Wedding
Perfect for couples who:
- Want to make it official quickly and simply
- Are working with a very tight budget
- Don’t want to plan anything “extra” right now
- Are planning a bigger celebration later (this is often the legal ceremony before a symbolic one abroad)
Pros:
- Very affordable
- Fast and straightforward
- No need to plan a big event around it
Cons:
- Can feel a bit clinical or transactional, depending on the location
- Limited flexibility in ceremony style, decor, or photography
- Usually doesn’t involve local wedding suppliers – so you miss out on all the personality and beauty of a styled wedding day
Encouragement:
If a simple registry ceremony is what suits you best – go for it. But if you love the idea of beautiful photos, a meaningful ceremony, or celebrating with even a handful of guests, there are lots of ways to make a small wedding in Ireland feel truly special – and support amazing local suppliers while you’re at it.
3. Big Wedding
Perfect for couples who:
- Want a full celebration with all their people
- Have family or cultural traditions to include
- Want a “wedding weekend” vibe – not just a ceremony
- See this as a once-in-a-lifetime party
Pros:
- A chance to gather all your loved ones
- Full experience with food, music, dancing, and all the magic
- Supports lots of local suppliers — venues, florists, bands, dress shops, planners
Cons:
- More planning and logistics
- Higher cost
- Can feel overwhelming if you don’t enjoy organising things
Reframe:
A ‘big wedding’ doesn’t have to mean 300 people and stress – it just means a celebration that brings your vision to life. And that can still be fun, flexible, and totally personal.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELVES
Take a moment to pause and reflect – this is where decision clarity really comes in.
- How many people do we really want there on the day?
- What kind of energy do we want – calm and quiet, or celebratory and full-on?
- Are we more focused on the experience, the photos, the guests – or all three?
- What’s our budget, and what would we be happy to prioritise?
- Would we feel sad if we didn’t have a big party, or relieved?
- Are we doing this our way – or trying to please someone else?
FINAL THOUGHTS
There’s no one-size-fits-all wedding – and no wrong answer. Whether it’s just the two of you on a clifftop, a quick ceremony in the registry office, or a massive party in a hotel ballroom – the right choice is the one that reflects who you are.
Take the pressure off. Get honest about what matters to you both. And know that no matter the format – there’s a way to make it beautiful, memorable, and completely yours.
