A few weeks ago, I asked a question in the ‘Help, I’m Getting Married’ Facebook community. With over 73k members – most of whom are engaged couples in Ireland, and lots who are already married – I knew I’d get some good answers!
Here’s what I asked: For the newlyweds, is there anything you’d do differently if you could plan your wedding all over again?
And today I’m sharing the common responses so that you can learn from other people! This is by no means prescriptive, but more so that you can get a feel for things other couples regret doing or not doing.
Dress
“When getting your dress altered, try it on sitting down! I wouldn’t have actually changed it, because when standing up the fit was perfect, but I’d have liked to have known how tight it was going to feel when I sat down.”
Guests, family, wedding party
“Invite who you want, not who others think should be there.”
“I massively regret not spending more time with my immediate family on my wedding day. We had 160 guests and I tried to spend a little time with everyone but it was near impossible. Because of that I barely saw my own parents.”
“I’d have liked a bit of time to actually chat to guests instead of only managing to get a quick hello in.”
“My biggest regret was my choice of bridesmaids. They were useless. I picked family as I thought it would be an easier choice but I would have picked friends instead if I could go back in time. The photographer and husband ended up helping me with my wedding dress.”
“Tell people as little as possible because there’s always Debbie downers!”
Supplier regrets
“I may have gotten a content creator. Such fab ones out there!”
“I wish we had had a day of wedding planner/coordinator to deal with all the little issues/logistics that arose on the day.”
“Hair & makeup trial!”
Stress and overwhelm
“I wouldn’t have stressed so much about small things!”
Budget
“Set a budget and stick to it. If you can’t afford it, don’t do it. Don’t stress too much about decor, extras etc. barely anyone notices anyway, trust me!”
“Controversial but we panicked too much about money & we didn’t get the little extras we would have really liked because of it. So I would be a bit more relaxed on budget and not been so uptight.”
Logistics
ENTERTAINMENT: “If you are having a 360 or photo booth try have them in the main room. We had ours down the hall so half the people didn’t even know it was there. It was too far away and half the people were at that and not in the room.”
BATHROOM BASKETS: “Flip flops and bathroom baskets. We came home with 90% of the stuff we filled them with (including flip flops).”
DIY: “I wouldn’t have done anything DIY. It’s too stressful thinking about setting up and who will do set up etc. of different bits. Then trying to sell it all after. No one wants to buy someone’s secondhand wedding DIY projects. I would have set more money aside to pay for decor setup.”
GUESTBOOK: “If there are things you want people to do/sign such as guest books/ audio guestbooks/ selfie mirrors etc, make signs big and obvious for guests. We only got a few written guest messages and a few audio guestbook messages after spending the money to have them for guests on the day.”
Photos
“The only thing I’d do differently is make a list of particular photos I wanted and give to my maid of honour to liaise and organise with the photographer. I specifically chose my photographer because his portfolio was full of candid and humorous photos. I didn’t want formal pics. He did a superb job, but I would have liked some formal ones looking back on it.”
“I’d book a second photographer to focus on everyone other than the bride.”
“Get more pictures with your parents or maybe do a first look with your dad. My dad died a few weeks after and I wish I had done this.”
