I’ve planned weddings for other couples, and I’ve planned my own – so I’ve seen both sides. And I can tell you: there are a few things I really wish every couple knew from the moment they got engaged.
This is the episode I’d play for newly engaged friends if I wanted to save them time, stress, and unnecessary drama.
I’ll also bust some myths about wedding planners – and share what you really need to focus on in the early days of planning.
THE REALITY OF WEDDING PLANNING
The Pinterest Trap
It’s so easy to start with colours, flowers, dresses, and themes – and totally skip the boring-but-essential stuff. I get it – the fun parts are fun for a reason.
But here’s what matters first:
Based on insights from Episode 109: If I Got Engaged, I’d Do This First [listen here].
Top things to focus on first:
- Get honest about your budget
- Talk about your non-negotiables (what really matters to you as a couple)
- Start thinking about your guest list early (it affects everything)
- Consider your ideal season, date, and general vibe
- Agree on how involved you both want to be – communication is everything
Planning a wedding isn’t just a checklist – it’s a series of decisions that reflect who you are as a couple.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT WEDDING PLANNERS
Based on Episode 137: Misconceptions About Hiring a Wedding Planner [listen here].
Common myths:
- “I can’t afford a wedding planner”
→ Many offer partial planning, day-of coordination, or consultations only - “The venue coordinator will do the same thing”
→ Venue coordinators work for the venue – planners work for you - “They’ll take over and make it ‘their’ wedding”
→ A good planner listens first, always. They’re not there to hijack your Pinterest board. - “I only need a planner if I’m having a big wedding”
→ Smaller weddings need just as much attention to detail – especially if you’re trying to keep things low-key but still beautiful - “I’ll just plan it myself – how hard can it be?”
→ It’s doable, but it’s not always fun under pressure. A planner helps keep the day running smoothly so you can be present.
Personal angle:
I planned my own wedding, so I get the DIY mindset – but I also know how valuable it is to have someone else holding the clipboard on the day. This is where a day-of coordinator comes in.
IF I COULD TELL EVERY COUPLE JUST ONE THING…
A few gold-nugget truths:
- Start slow – don’t rush into booking suppliers before you’ve nailed down your priorities
- Don’t plan your wedding for other people – plan it for you and your partner
- Always ask: “Do we really care about this, or do we think we’re supposed to care?”
- Choose suppliers whose work and personality you trust – and then trust them
- Be realistic about your time and stress levels – planning a wedding is a part-time job
- Day-of help is not a luxury – it’s peace of mind
WHEN A PLANNER (OR COORDINATOR) IS WORTH IT
- If you’re getting married abroad or far from home
- If you both work full-time and don’t want planning to eat your evenings
- If you want a relaxed wedding morning with zero logistical stress
- If you’re someone who hates spreadsheets (seriously, that’s a good enough reason)
