Image from Lisa & Conor’s real wedding
Whether you’ve been engaged for five minutes or five years, it’s a very special time you should enjoy to the fullest. But, once you’ve thrown that engagement party and collected all the congratulations, wedding planning appears on the horizon. Some brides can’t wait – they start looking at venues the morning after the question-popping! Others prefer to take their time and think about it for a bit. And then, of course, there are the Monicas of the world, who had their entire wedding already planned in version A and B (high budget/low budget) since they were little.
For those of us who aren’t Monica, the next big question is “where do I start?” We’re happy to help! Here are the first six steps to planning your wedding.
Talk to your fiancé about what kind of wedding you’d like to have – his opinion matters as much as yours
You may want a big bash for 300, and he may go along with it to make you happy – but if he’s panicking inside at the mere thought of it, then he may not enjoy his own wedding day. Do you really want that? It’s always assumed that this day is all about the bride – and to a large extent, it is. But it’s equally his day too – if he wasn’t there, there would be no wedding at all. So do have a talk about what kind of a celebration you both want, and agree on something that makes you both happy.
Now that you know how big you want your wedding to be, check the venues
The size of your wedding will affect your choice of venue – you need to be able to accommodate your chosen number of guests. There’s no point paying for an enormous venue for only 30 guests (unless intimate luxury is what you’ve always wanted and budget is no object), and equally there’s no sense in packing 200 guests into a gorgeous yet tiny boutique hotel with no dance floor. Just knowing the number of guests will help you narrow down your choices very nicely so ensure you tackle the guest list first. Then you can think of where you want to get married – and do some reserach in to venues in that area – our venue finder and directory is here to help you with that job. Nowadays, most venues will have a website with their guest capacity and prices clearly posted – do some preliminary research into the costs for your ideal number of guests. You may find that you’ll have to go smaller, or indeed bigger, when you see some numbers in front of you.
Image by Konrad Kubic
Choose the season – a beautiful wedding can happen any time
Weddings happen all year round – check any venue’s price list, and you’ll find (as expected) that a wedding in July/August is far more expensive than one in February/March. Consider the costs and what you can realistically afford. If you’ve narrowed down your choice of venues, you can now make a comparison in prices for dates that interest you most and the number of guests.
Consider the costs – how long will it take to pay for your dream day?
Ok, so now you’ve got: approximate number of guests, possible location, and the time of year you’d like to get married. Are you paying for it all yourself, or are your parents going to contribute? With very few exceptions, a wedding budget grows in accordance with the size of the wedding itself. Think realistically – a big expensive celebration is not easy to plan, or indeed afford, in three months. That’s why an average engagement time is now 18 months, with nearly a quarter of the couples hitting the 24-month mark (according to our most recent weddingsonline survey) – it’s not just planning time, it’s saving time too. Set a date that’s realistically far enough in the future. The farther away your wedding, the more time you’ll have to do everything, with less stress, and savings to boot.
Image by Michelle Prunty
Now for the important part – the ceremony
It’s the bit where you say ‘I do’ to each other – don’t forget that’s what the day is about! Most couples have the ceremony and the reception on the same day. The usual options are: registry office, church, licensed venue. Which do you prefer? Or, would you rather have a humanist ceremony, or a completely personalised one led by a celebrant? Discuss and decide. The further away your wedding date, the more chances of the same date being free at your chosen ceremony location.
Now it’s time to face the venues!
Of all the venues you’ve researched in your chosen area, pick a few faves – three is a good number. Call each one – ask what availability they have around your chosen date, and book a no-obligation viewing. Or, check if they have a wedding fair or open day happening soon – an ideal occasion for a visit. See all your chosen venues in person, speak to the wedding co-ordinators, read reviews online, find some real weddings to see what it looks like in action. Take a day or two, think about it, discuss with your fiancé. Choose the one you both loved the most. Now call your ceremony venue (if different) and make sure they have the same day available for your vows.
Once you’re sure of your venue choice, it’s time to put down your deposits for the venue and the ceremony. Congratulations! You now have: your wedding date, your location, the number of guests you can invite, and your approximate budget (here are a few words of wisdom on this very timely subject).
Now breathe, and take a well-deserved break – congratulations, you’ve officially started and come a long way, baby!
Look out for our ultimate downloadable 12-month wedding checklist coming next week, to help you make sure you don’t miss a thing!
