If there’s one thing we’ve learnt since living through a global pandemic, it’s that the most important part of your wedding day is the moment you exchange vows. This is the moment you make promises to one another and declare your love for each other. So we can all agree that wedding vows are incredibly important! This is why you might be considering writing your wedding vows instead of using something that has already been written. We’re here to give you some helpful tips on where to start and what to keep in mind when writing your wedding vows.
Before you begin, check with your celebrant or solemniser if writing your wedding vows is allowed. For example, couples getting married in a Catholic Church are not allowed to write their own wedding vows. If you’re having a civil or humanist ceremony, you’ll have more freedom with your ceremony including writing your wedding vows.
Main image credit: Andrea Cittadini
Get started early
You want to give yourself at least a week when writing your wedding vows. You’re going to be making important promises to your Other Half and you want to make sure this process isn’t rushed. So, get started early and give yourself plenty of time to write a couple of drafts and of course, practice!
Speak with your Other Half
Sit down together and talk about the kind of vows you want to write. Do you want to keep the tone lighthearted and funny or serious and sentimental, traditional or modern, long or short and sweet? Talk about how personal you would like to get. Will you share inside jokes or will these remain between the two of you?
Write out your thoughts
In this step, try not to overthink it. Don’t try to write perfect sentences and create a good flow. Just jot down all your thoughts, feelings and things you want to promise to your Other Half. You’ll revise, edit and rewrite later, but for now you want to kind of word vomit onto the page. Come back to these notes in a few days and edit them.
Think about your promises
This may be something that you do together, but it is important to include your promises in your vows. You can include anything from the more serious promises, like standing by their side through thick and thin, or the lighthearted promises, like putting up with their latest video game obsession. Consider your final promise, the one you will end with. Traditional vows end with things like “as long as we both shall live” or “until death do us part”. Do you want to use one of these or something more informal like “forever and ever”? Whichever you choose, think about how you want to conclude your vows.
Read it aloud
One of the best ways to edit your vows is to read them aloud and better yet, to do so in front of somebody else. You want to make sure your vows not only look good, but they sound good too. Pick a person who you trust and respect to provide good, honest feedback.
Don’t try to memorise
It’s going to be a big day and a big moment. Nobody expects you to have memorised your wedding vows. We recommend writing or typing them out on a neat piece of paper or card and read them. If you practice enough beforehand, you will be able to look up at your Other Half while reading.
Add something lighthearted
Here’s a lovely mix of cute, funny, a little sarcastic and just plain romantic bits to add to your vows.
“I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.”
“You are my today and all of my tomorrows.”
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.”
“Do you solemnly sweat to protect me from spiders as long as we both shall live?”
“I vow to grab your butt even when you’re old and wrinkly.”
“You’re the weirdest person I know. That’s why we’re perfect for each other.”
“I promise to hold off watching the next episode of whichever show we’re watching, so we can watch together.”
