23rd October 2007 10:31[b:38xvzxz3]20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY [/b:38xvzxz3] [b:38xvzxz3]1.[/b:38xvzxz3] At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. [b:38xvzxz3]2.[/b:38xvzxz3] Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. [b:38xvzxz3]3.[/b:38xvzxz3] Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. [b:38xvzxz3]4.[/b:38xvzxz3] Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN". [b:38xvzxz3]5.[/b:38xvzxz3] Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. [b:38xvzxz3]6.[/b:38xvzxz3] In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for smuggling diamonds". [b:38xvzxz3]7. [/b:38xvzxz3]Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy". [b:38xvzxz3]8. [/b:38xvzxz3]don't use any punctuation or capitalizing [b:38xvzxz3]9.[/b:38xvzxz3] As often as possible, skip rather than walk. [b:38xvzxz3]10.[/b:38xvzxz3] Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face [b:38xvzxz3]11.[/b:38xvzxz3] Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". [b:38xvzxz3]12.[/b:38xvzxz3] Sing along at the opera. [b:38xvzxz3]13.[/b:38xvzxz3] Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work. [b:38xvzxz3]14.[/b:38xvzxz3] Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. [b:38xvzxz3]15.[/b:38xvzxz3] Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. [b:38xvzxz3]16.[/b:38xvzxz3] Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom. [b:38xvzxz3]17.[/b:38xvzxz3] When the money comes out the bank machine, scream "I won! I won!" [b:38xvzxz3]18.[/b:38xvzxz3] When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!" [b:38xvzxz3]19. [/b:38xvzxz3]Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." [b:38xvzxz3]20.[/b:38xvzxz3] And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity - e-mail this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.