Been thinking about this over Christmas. I usually only do the graveyard visit at Christmas, if I get around to it. Never found it any solace really TBH but last year I lost someone very dear and they were cremated and so I found myself with nowhere to visit to lay flowers and have a think. I missed it, even though I so rarely do it anyway. Got to thinking about my own eventual demise (as I said...cheerful). Thoughts of being buried freak me out, somehow being sent into an inferno seems more comforting. Anyway, what are your thoughts?
I've a plan for when I kick it. Cremation and scattering of ashes in a beautiful location close to my heart along with the erection of a bench. I hate visiting graveyards and find the rows and rows of headstones overwhelming and impersonal. The idea is that those I leave behind can go somewhere pretty and have a think if they wish to visit me. Hubbie and I just need to come to an agreement as to where we'll do this (he's on board with the idea!)
Weird Cat Lady
"Throw my ashes to the wind
Watch them blow into the sea
Throw me, throw me in
You can cry up there on the cliff
Scream to Heaven
Work your grief but
Throw me, throw me in.
And when I'm dead, please don't apologise
Or feel regret
Just remember me when I said
I had one hell of a life"
To the fire I go..
I wouldn't be the religious sort so being buried in a graveyard would seem very hypocritical to me but my main reason for wanting to be cremated is that I don't ever want to be a grave that's forgotten about! I see it all the times at graveyards and they are overgrown with weeds and generally unkempt and I thinks it's sad when that happens.
Reality is that after two generations we're generally forgotten so i'd rather have myself scattered and see where the winds take me than end up under a headstone that holds writing that isn't legible anymore.
I have heard that when you're cremated, the ashes your family get aren't yours. Anyone know if there's any truth in that? If so, that'd put me off being cremated. Burial doesn't sound like much fun either. There really is no ideal...
[quote="reine":3t2v99x1]I have heard that when you're cremated, the ashes your family get aren't yours. Anyone know if there's any truth in that? If so, that'd put me off being cremated. Burial doesn't sound like much fun either. There really is no ideal...[/quote:3t2v99x1]
It's partly true - they usually carry out a few cremations at the same time & then divide the ashes into the various urns so you could end up with ashes from your relative & 3 or 4 others.......i know because my father-in-law was cremated.
I still think i'd rather be cremated than buried but unfortunately there are only a few crematoriums in Ireland which makes things a bit awkward!
To be honest I won't have any preferences. Ill leave it up to my kids / husband to decide as it won't matter what I want!
I would have said cremated until recently. I lost my dad completely out of the blue and was so shell shocked but I remember his funeral as being the nicest ones id been at, strange I know. There was about 100 people at the graveyard and there was live music as my dad was a musician. Although I was completely devastated it was so nice to be surrounded by so many people that truly loved him. It was a great comfort. When someone goes off to be cremated its much more private id imagine. My dad was such a community man so it made sense that the community should be there when he was laid to rest.they wanted to say goodbye too.
now its a bit different as I dont feel particularly close to him at the grave, I do so when I go on the walks we used to take together but that might change as I get older and I might be glad to visit it. So after going through a bereavement I honestly feel I will let my next of kin decide how they would like me to be laid to rest as itll be them thatll have to grieve. And that's a very individual thing.
A non religious cremation please. The thoughts of being buried is horrible. This is something myself and himself speak about sometimes, we make sure the other one knows what we'd want.
What a thread for one of the most depressing days of the year...
(and I have a chest infection so might need this info sooner rather than later)
I had never been to a cremation before my FILs but I have to say it was lovely - my MIL picked 3 of his all time favourite songs & they were played in the crematorium.......everyone held hands & sang along.I'm sure they would let people play live music too if that was your preference.It was packed & people even stood outside.
Cremation for me too, I just don't like the thoughts of being buried. My Mam has a plot where my Dad is already buried plus space for one more so might get my ashes buried there if that's possible.
[quote="Sassypants":39giqmc5]What a thread for one of the most depressing days of the year... [/quote:39giqmc5]