Instead of having a stag and hen we have decided to have a bbq night with our friends and close family that we would als be in contact with in a local pub.
We are delighted with this idea as we really wouldn't have the money for both of us to go away for a stag and hen so we thought this would be brill, and would also be a way for both families to meet and break the ice before the wedding.
But now my mother is asking what about the kids of her sisters that are coming to the bbq. Now to me there is no question, my bro who is doing usher for us is coming and one cousin cuz its his dad's birthday the same day. They the only 2 under age ppl coming and it took a lot to clear that with the pub
But now she still wants to know what bout the other kids
In my opinion, it shouldn't be an issue they not my kids and they wouldn't be coming to a stag and hen if we were having one!!!!
How do I get out of this, she says its not really fair etc etc etc, but I don't make the law................
God why cant things be simple!!!!!!!
Having abit of a melt down day at min, sorry for the rant. But is anybody else getting the same from their mother!!!
My mother is wrecking my head and making me feel awful
why is it that some people get sooooooo overly concerned about everyone else & not a thought in the world for the bride & groom.
its not your problem about the kids & the parents should know god damn better than to bring them to the pub & if they do they will have to be gone by 9pm!!
which bit of this does your Mamma not get?
i feel your pain just say it to her the law is the law and that that the two under age that are going wont be able to stay if the other kids come
no im not getting it from my mother we are getting it from his mam ye have to have this and ye have to have that and we say no its our day and she comes back with but people will be talking. do i give a damn. i swear some days with them you would just feel like eloping cause its like banging your head against a brick wall some days trying to explain things.
If the pub won't let you have kids there, then you can use that as your excuse if you don't feel comfortable telling people that you don't want their kids there. Also, I'm sure a lot of people would jump at the chance of a night out without their children tagging along, so your mum might be creating drama were there isn't any!!
The BBQ idea sounds ideal- a lot of people will be happier that you have gone for a more purse-friendly option, as it will save them the added expense too.
So stick to your guns and ignore your mum... have learned how to fade mine out!!
Had to send you a reply... your mother sounds very similar to the one I have lurking about and making "helpful" suggestions!
I am sorry to hear this is happening to you. I think it is a great idea to have a bbq
and as you said if you were having a hens and stags then thay would not be going anyway
I would just simply explain this to your mam that even though it may not be the 'tradional' han and stags that thats what it is to you and you dont want kids running around
Anyway Good Luck!!!
Oh poor you.
I had a belly full of my mothers silly comments at the weekend! I think you just have to stick to your guns because i feel that people especially family can be reluctant to help out & be positive... But are so quick to wade in with unhelpful remarks/suggestions.
O thanks you guys
Id be lost with out you, glad to see I not the only one who is getting this from her mam......
It is head wrecking though and I am trying not to get into all this rig marole about it all but AAAAAHHHHHHH is all I can say
Well I took your advice and put my foot down!!!!
In each msg I receive about our bbq night from ppl we invited I txn back saying I looking forward to seeing you and X that night, purposely leaving out the kids names and yet putting it politely
Do things your way, 'people who matter dont mind and those that dont matter-mind!'
[quote="princess fi":nfke56vh]no im not getting it from my mother we are getting it from his mam ye have to have this and ye have to have that and we say no its our day and she comes back with but people will be talking. [/quote:nfke56vh]
My motto is 'let people talk'. I love giving people something to talk about because if all they're concerned with is how you're living your life then they haven't much of a life themselves. MIL's are gas aren't they? They are great craic at times. If only we had a remote control for them, we could pause, slap the head off them and then rewind like it never happened!!
That be great like a sky plus just for mothers