Absolutely demented. Can not decide what to do about birth?

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useruser Posts: 4
I've posted this on another forum too so if you're on both sorry for repeating myself! I have posted before and am jumping from one option to the other all the time. I'm in the 2nd trimester and I need to just decide but for some reason am paralyzed and can not seem to come to a decision. Above all else I want a healthy baby. I want to go somewhere where I will not be forced to do something that I do not want to do. That's it in a nutshell. If I am freaking out and not able for it then I'd like to have the option of a c section. But if I can do it then I would much rather see whether I can go naturally and not have ARM, or an unnecessary episiotomy or any other active management of labour interventions. If I had the choice I'd like a private room, whether that's my own bed or a room in a hospital then I'd like that. My GP had strongly advocated a teaching hospital and because it's my first I'm going to do that. So here are my options 1. Private obs in H Street 2. Domino in Rotunda Disadvantages of Holles Street is the AML policy and no matter what any one says with the best will in the world if your caregiver is advocating for a particular course you're probably not in the best of state to refuse it in the throes of labour. The advantages are that if I need in patient ante natal care I will have a private room and the same obs dealing with the problems, if there are any. I have the money and I will pay it happily if this is the better option so I am not factoring that in. The disadvantages of Rotunda Domino are that they are so busy now that you are unlikely to have one of the domino midwives for the birth and if you are an inpatient antenally then some would say you don't get the same one on one care of a private obs. I don't have a clue if that is true. Can anyone help me? Anyone have anything that might help me decide one way or the other?
jenokeo Posts: 22
I don't know if this will help you in any way but with labour and having a baby you cannot plan anything. Its good to research your options of course. I know myself I went public and had to go straight to delivery where you have your own room obviously. Once I delivered baby naturally had epidural went to ward although it was public there was only 1 other woman in ward. It was fine could chat if you wanted. As hospitals are so strict on visitors you are by yourself for majority of the day. My sister went private for her two kids. Her first delivery she had a c-section I would not advise anyone to have one unless neccessary. After it you need someone to drive you for 6 wks you cannot lift anyting heavy i.e baby in carseat etc. its up to you its whatever you are comfortable with the days fly by anyway you'll be out of hospital in no time
useruser Posts: 4
Thanks Jen. You're 100% right about planning! Oh God!?!? Still I don't know why I can't just make this simple decision and stick to one.
GentleBirth Posts: 750
User - are you eligible for the Community Midwives scheme in H.Street? Unlike the current Rotunda Domino scheme (which I've heard is changing so that there will be continuiuty of carer eventually) you do get to know the Midwives and they don't follow AML. The best way to avoid routine intervention is to stay home as long as possible, have written birth preferences and get your partner well versed in what your preferences are - no matter which hospital you choose. Natural birth in hospital is possible but medicalised birth is the norm so doing your homework now will stand to you on the big day. Tracy
ellee Posts: 666
If it helps on your first baby, no hospital is going to be rushing to offer you a section unless it's medically indicated, I suspect this would go for a private patient as well as a public one. So I don't think there is any point in factoring that somehow into your thought processes. If you are leaning towards a more natural birth I'd say the midwife schemes are the best route. There is a consultant in the background and I think he/she has to see you to make sure you are suitable for the scheme. I think if you are on the scheme in holles st you have the option to get a semi private room? My sister was on that scheme and she was in a room with just one other person. YOu might even have the option of a private room. My own personal experiences of birth would lead me to say planning is essentially fairly pointless and possibly leads you to have expectations of the birth experience which cause you distress if (when in my case) they cannot be met! As you say, whatever is on your birth plan it is next to impossible to go against the advice you're given when in the hospital actually having the baby. It's amazing how your mind adjusts to the idea of labour and birth as the pregnancy goes on, and after all, a section is not exactly an easy option either! I bet you'll surprise yourself and be looking forward to teh birth by the end *) good luck with your choices and of course the baby!