Advice from the p&b girls for a TTC'er

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Finished here Posts: 2860
Hi girls, I am on the ttc journey at the moment and while it is so exciting and lovely to be planning a family with DH the trip is also a difficult and worrying one for us. I suffer from PCOS and don't ovulate every month. I am on cd 38 today with no sign of AF and temps show i didn't ov this month, I also did a hpt just to be sure and it is def neg like i expected. I am just wondering if there are any of you who have been through something similar and if you could offer advice on how to manage when you don't know cycle length and are literally stabbing in the dark trying to predict the best times to BD . Thanks :thnk
kittysue Posts: 1016
Fat Frog ....haven't been in your position..... But if you can.....why don't you just BD every second night for the month...I know it's a lot....but try and do it regularly...just to see how you get on..
sunnyside Posts: 3164
fat frog I had reasonably long cycles -33 days up to nearly 50 I think at some stage. You might be ovulating later than you think and routine 21 day bloods won't pick this up. best advice in the meantime is not to get fixated on dtd on certain days and aim for a few times a week. It's easy to say not to worry when you are ttc but in all honestly timing sex is probably the worst thing about ttc. aim for a few times a week and at least you know you've done your best rather than focusing on a specific few days a month. :wv
kel Posts: 35
Hi Fat Frog, I was just like you I have PCOS and very long cycles anything up to 80 days. If you haven't already done so you should read Taking Charge of Your Fertility which will help you to get some idea of what your body is doing. I found what worked best for me was taking my temps each morning and keeping an eye on the quality of my cervical mucus. We tried to BD every second or third night and also made sure to BD every day when I had fertile quality cervical mucus. We got lucky on my second cycle after following the above and I'm now 36 weeks pregnant and looking forward to the birth of my baby next month :lvs Best of luck hope you get your BFP very soon.
Finished here Posts: 2860
Ah girls, Thanks so much for your replies thats really helpful and Kel thansk for sharing your story its an inspiration. Sunnyside you've grounded me a little as well with your advice - i think its really good advice not to get fixated on aiming for the right days and just like both you and Kittysue are saying doing it regularly which to be fair we prob already do i just was getting distracted with timing :o0 I hope i get to join you all over here some day soon and congrats to you all and best wishes for the remainder of your pregnancies and a happy healthy birth. :wv Ps have tcoyf must delve deeper into it and have been temping for a few months now - this is really helpful as other wise i'd be spending a fortune on hpt's :o0
chicam Posts: 1169
Hi Fatfrog - yes I have been in your position and would agree with Kel...get the 'taking charge of your fertility' book as it taught me some things I didn't know before. I was never diagnosed with PCOS though I suspect I have it as its in my family, my cycles are never regular - 25 days one month, 45 the next, sometimes no cycle the next month, 15 the next month. They are usually all over the shop! It was frustrating reading books on fertility because they all work around "regular" cycles and it's hard to keep your spirits up when you can't figure out when you ovulate and like you said, you're stabbing in the dark every month. I started taking my tempuratures every month (for a good 18 mths before I got pregnant) and while most of the time I couldn't see a pattern, there was ONE month where it looked like I had ovulated and hey presto, 14 days later I got a period. So from that I took solice in that I knew I WAS ovulating, even if I didn't know when in the month it would be. Anyway, for 14 months I was very frustrated because even though with my cycles I'd always known it would take a while to get pregnant I hadn't bargained on still not being pregnant after 12 months and then began to panic that maybe I couldn't at all. But if you know you do ovulate, then there shouldn't be a problem with conceiving even if it does take months and months. After the first 11 months of trying "normally" we upped the anti and did the BD no less than 3 times a week, sometimes 4-5 (maybe that's average for some ppl but not for us as we're always so bloody busy!!). I got pregnant in the 14th month after officially starting to try and I put this down to upping the amount of times we did the BD.... but I warn you, if you do this try try try to make sure it doesn't become BD-ing simply to get pregnant because it will wreck your head when you get negative results and put a major strain on your relationship. I'm not sure any of this has been a help but I thought I'd share my experience anyway. I'm almost at my due date now and am thankful for having had a positive result even if it took ages to conceive. Keep your chin up and best of luck :wv
baby peanut Posts: 810
Hi Fat Frog, my advice would be the same as the others, relax and dtd every other day if possible, try not to time anything, you could ov really early or really late so don't try to 'catch' the right time. That approach certainly worked for us, good luck and enjoy trying *)
rushinbride Posts: 1097
same advice as others really, I'd been TTC for almost 3yrs, also with PCOS, my cycles ranged from 50days to 12mths...I'm on my clomid pregnancy, found it great (bar side effects of course) but my first cycle on clomid was 46days second cycle was about 38 or there abouts, started clomid last October and I'm due baby this October...if you've been TTC for a long time, maybe ask your gp about clomid it will help with ovulation, only thing is you'll be adviced to dtd on approx day 14 of your cycle - I found this was way out, as the other girls say try dtd every second day if you can, I can't say day 14 was correct for me...based on when I got pregnant it would have been approx day 21... Best of luck with it, and try and enjoy it too!!
leila1 Posts: 25
Hi Fatfrog I dont think I had PCOS but my cycle was all over the place. I tried the digital ovulation kits and got my BFP on the 3rd month of trying. It was a bit expensive but well worth it in the end. I bought 2 kits a month and DTD every 3 days once I hit CD12 and every 2 days when I got the surge. Hope this helps and good luck :wv
Anonymous Posts: 24542
Dont usually post over here but just wanted to thank ye for all your tips and stories :thnk I just got my first prescription of clomid today so am hoping to join ye all very soon :o)ll :o)ll