Advice needed..............am I being unreasonable?

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Confused mama 2 b Posts: 26
Hi girls We are getting married this week and really looking forward to it! One small hiccup that H2B and I cannot agree on. We are limited with numbers and didnt invite all our first cousins. His mum invited three of his first cousins to the afters, even though we are not having an afters and they are the only peolple coming. Yesterday his mum told me H2B's aunt and uncle are bringing one of these cousins who wasnt invited to the whole day to teh church and teh hotel and he is going to stay up in their room during the meal. His brother adn girlfriend are coming down later. This kid is seventeen. I think it is incredibly cheeky as it is a blacktie wedding and he will b the only one at teh church not in blacktie. Then he will b hanging around the reception but not at it! I want to ring either his mother or H2B' mother adn ask could teh 17 year old not come down with his brother later in the evening, but H2B thinks I should just forget about it. H2B has only met this cousin a handful of times it is not as if they are even close. I know this is such a small thing but I am obsessed by it now!!!!! Am I being mental? SHould I ring or just let it go? Thanks for reading
fifi09 Posts: 414
It's a tricky one isn't it. I would be going mad over it aswell to be honest, it's fairly cheeky of them. I think I would give H2B's mum the job of ringing them and asking if he can come along later with his brother and grilfriend. In all honesty, the 17 year old lad is gonna have no interest at all in going to the church and then hanging around the hotel realistically so it's prob all the doing of his parents.
Mrs-Byrne Posts: 236
Mrs V, are you serioous ?! That is just sooo rude! I dont think there is much point falling out with your h2b over this, so try and avoid big arguments, just sit him down and explain to him your side/feelings. TBH I would ring aunt, people cant just get away with walkin all over people, this is your day - U and H2B decide who goes not aunties and uncles!
vonanto Posts: 395
[quote="the-mrs-to-be":jth85gs8]Mrs V, are you serioous ?! That is just sooo rude! I dont think there is much point falling out with your h2b over this, so try and avoid big arguments, just sit him down and explain to him your side/feelings. TBH I would ring aunt, people cant just get away with walkin all over people, this is your day - U and H2B decide who goes not aunties and uncles![/quote:jth85gs8] Totally agree with this, I let people totally walk over me with regards to this and really regret it now but its too late - invitations have gone out. I am going to have people at the wedding now that neither of us actually know and its sooo annoying. I would definitely say stand up for urself - unlike me :o0
Lyndielou Posts: 18
Hi there, Firstly don't stress out, it'll do you no good. It's head wrecking (and rude) but its not the end of the world. The young lad probably doesn't want to go anyways but is being made by his parents who are probably hoping you'll say "ah sure we'll fit him in". Dont worry about how he looks at the church (nobody will payiing attention and you may have some under dressed locals having a little look anyways...hey, the more people that get to see you in your guna the better right?!!?!) You'll have a fab day and wont even notice him! O-O
Beverly Hill Posts: 591
Personally I don't see what the big deal is. Try and forget about it and enjoy the run up to the wedding. Its only a small thing and you shouldn't let it get to you.
Confused mama 2 b Posts: 26
Thank you all so much for your replies!! Glad to know I am not completely on my own in thinking it is out of order. I can appreciate people thinking it is only a small thing, and to b honest if I read the email I would probably think the girl is making a mountain out of a molehill!!! But the irrational part of me is just so annoyed!! Think I will say it to them as it really is unnecessary, also feel it will put my folks under pressure that they didnt invite him, and feel it will b obvious as he will b the only one not in Blacktie. Thanks again girls...............actually lost a nights sleep over it!!
vonanto Posts: 395
I definitely dont think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Its 4 days to your wedding and you have an idea of what you want your wedding to be and how you want it to look. We are not having a black tie wedding but if you have specified black tie then people should respect your wishes it is your day afterall (well you and H2B :o0 :o0 ) I agree with the ops though that it is probably not the 17 year old boy who probably doesnt want to be there but is parents making these decisions. Its terrible to have to be dealing with things like this so close to the wedding when all you should be doing now is getting totally excited :thnk :wv
dewdee Posts: 444
[quote="Mrs V":etmap7q8] But the irrational part of me is just so annoyed!! [/quote:etmap7q8] I can totally relate Mrs V - my irrational part is playing a much bigger part these days and feel like i am turning into a bridezilla! I empathise with you so much - sooo annoying and very very rude! And as the other ladies have said, its much more likely the parents than the kid who are behind it all - typical!
dibbles Posts: 749
Well to be honest any person can go to the church when there is a wedding on and i suppose hes gonna be in the room for the meal so ur prob only gonna be upsetting urself by bringing it up cause in "theory" u really dont have a case ya know!!!