am i being over dramatic

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happilymarried2010 Posts: 493
got home yesterday eve to package. SIL posted christening gown that they were all christened in incl DH. there was a card saying Mom asked me to send this to you ages ago sorry its late. LATE????? :ooh :ooh im 32 weeks pregnant. i was NEVER consulted ab this gown, only over heard witch of MIL saying to DH "oh u will use the gown i have wont you, sure Happily Married wont mind". (this was when i was 4months pg & she called & made more trouble than u could imagine) well she does mind actually >:o( i want to start my own tradition for my family & not be dictated to by her. she has caused enough trouble now lately therefore i am in NO mood to just go along with her. not a hope. and this [email protected] about being "late". child isnt even born yet O:| O:| O:|
happyfamily Posts: 3323
Is it a nice christening gown????? TBH I'd pick my battles when it comes to in laws. Think about how difficult it will be for your husband to be stuck in the middle? If it looks nice just accept it and think about the money you've saved and bite your tongue over the "late" thing.
happilymarried2010 Posts: 493
well its about 47 years old so fairly discoloured. Sent robe too. they are yellowed really but not in bad condition at all ya know ( am trying really hard to be fair here) i just HATE giving in to her. i know thats immature. i tolerate her thats about it. Everything is her way or no way & i will go the complete opposite to her then, i get what ur saying about picking battles alright though. :thnk
rosiemama Posts: 3363
[quote="kerrywedding2011":2s5spwpg]Is it a nice christening gown????? TBH I'd pick my battles when it comes to in laws. Think about how difficult it will be for your husband to be stuck in the middle? If it looks nice just accept it and think about the money you've saved and bite your tongue over the "late" thing.[/quote:2s5spwpg] kind of agree with this too.. its only on them for a few hours anyway. what does your DH think, it is his family tradition so maybe he wants to continue on with it? and if he doesn't then get him to tell his mum! you don't need the stress!
JourneyNo2 Posts: 220
Hi there I dont blame you at all whatsoever for being angry - you should be I had a similar situation in that I was put under a lot of pressure to call our baba a particular name after someone in my in-law family - I wasnt mad about the name and we debated all through the pregnancy and eventually I gave in to DH because I could see it meant a lot to him. MIL was quite influential in this but when we finaly announced that we would use the name if it was a boy she then proceeded to tell me that we had to use a particular middle name also - NOT ON YOUR NELLIE. So I have broken a family tradition of boys with my husbands surname being call for examle (not actual name) John James Surname - by changing the middle name part. husband didnt mind but MIL did and can you imagine I even got some baby cards from her friends with John James - rather than what my sons actual name is !!!! However previous poster is right you do have to pick battles - you are intrinsically more involved with your inlaw family when a baby comes along and you will appreciate help from Grannies when they are small believe me. ! My advice would be - see how important it is to your DH what you baba wears to be Christened in. !
brightling Posts: 1496
How does your DH feel about it? You could always buy a lovely little outfit for your LO to wear after the ceremony. Thats what I did for my 3, they all had the gown on for the church and a few photos and then I got them all a separate little outfit to wear for the rest of the day.
PetiteFeet Posts: 506
I'd probably be the same as you and be really annoyed about this if it was just assumed that you'd be using it. I think with all the baby hormones floating around you will be extra sensitive to these things. I don't like either of our mothers commenting on how we will do things with our LO. I will decide myself thank you!! However I do agree it's sensible to pick your battles. How big is the gown? Could you put off the christening and then be really disapointed when baby doesn't fit into it anymore..... or some other sneaky trick of that kind? How does you DH feel about it? Does he want to use it?
happilymarried2010 Posts: 493
DH doesnt mind waht babs wears really, we havent even talked ab christening. More worried ab labour & birth & whether our angel will be ok or not. MIL doesnt give [email protected] about that as long as things are done her way. i will whip it off straight after church. great idea. HATE giving in to her. Overheard her telling DH who to have as Godfather too. was just walking into room & she said "you will have to ask So&So to be godfather" & there he is sitting saying "i will Mum i will". >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( She keeps telling me that other SIL will be over to visit in Jan to see baby from UK. Please stop TELLING US what to do witch. (sorry she is trouble maker, we get on fine out but made lot of trouble & upset DH which i dont like) I dont want any visitors in Jan booking in with us for a week. thanks all the same
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
I agree you need to ask your DH how he feels about it. It's a tradition in his family and he may love the idea of seeing his LO christened in his gown. If you want to start your own traditon maybe you could use the gown and have your own robe or blanket?
Ochre Posts: 877
Christening gown aside, maybe SIL meant it was late in the sense that MIL had been hounding her to send it and possibly claiming that you were looking for it? I wouldn't read anything into that particular comment. It's a bit high handed to land it on you without any consultation; it'd have been much nicer if they'd just said that this robe had been used for generations, your DH had been christened in it and it was there if you wanted it. That's the way my Mum's approached it with our gown and I'd love to use it. But she's very sensitive to not forcing me to do things the way they've "always" been done, probably because her own sister treated her like that (Mum basically had to wear her sister's wedding dress!!!!). I agree that your DH needs to stop agreeing things like god-father with his mother; that's between you and him. End of. 3ofus, I cannot believe that on the name thing - especially that she told her friends you'd gone with 'her' name choice. Some people are such weapons!