Am I being unreasonable - be honest!

We have made arrangements to go stay with friends overnight in a different county in two weeks time. Basically I have now discovered that it is my grandmothers 80th birthday that weekend in the west of ireland. I approached H2B about going to stay with these friends some other weekend as this is important to me although I would not be very close to my grandmother. It would mean alot to my father if I was there. H2B is point blank refusing to change our original plans as he has never met my grandmother and does not see what the big deal is with meeting her now - 2 years into our relationship. So last night the conversation ended when I stormed into bed calling him selfish. We are living together practically since the time we met and his friend has come to visit once and the wife never as say it is very difficult to come visit as they have 3 small children. On quite a number of occassions we have met them in the local shopping centre to us which is less than a 5 mintue drive. So basically am I being unreasonable? Thought we had a great relationship but this is making me question it/.. Thanks Wollies! Regards R

I don't think you are. It's your Granny and I would put mine before visiting friends that have never pulled the finger out and gone to any amount of huge effort to come and see you. Surely they can wait till another week-end.

To me, family would be more important and you should go and see your grandmother. My grandmother has alzheimers and does not have a good quality of life and I would love if she had the capacity to enjoy a birthday party. Not being morbid or anything but due to your nan's age, she might not have too many birthdays left, you can see that other couple any time.

The way I would see it is as My Nana is 80 I won't get to spend many more birthdays with her so it would be important for me to go BUT I can see where H2B is coming from, he's never met her and probably doesn't fancy the thoughts of spending the weekend with someone he's never met. Maybe he was really looking forward to this weekend with his friend esp as ye don't see them that often. Can ye not compromise and you got the your Granny's party and let him got to his mates, then maybe you could arrange to go to the mates another weekend together.

I definitely don't think you're being unreasonable. It is your grandmother after all...your father's mother. I think it's a bit unfair that he feels he doesn't need to meet her "at this stage". He is marrying you and wouldn't it be a nice way of meeting her. She might like to meet her granddaughter's future husband too. I'd try and explain to him again how much it means to you. He should really try to understand.

No I really don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I would tell H2B that he can go to your friends, but that you are going to see your Granny on her birthday. If, God forbid, she didn't make it to her next birthday, wouldn't you regret not seeing her? Family comes first. TBH, I think your H2B is the one who is being unreasonable.

No, it's your grandmother.You're not being unreasonable.

no its yours grandmothers 80th birthday party...WOW!! he is being very selfish, do you not think your friends would think it a bit odd if you were there that weekend and there with your granny and your family. tbh I find it a bit odd that he hasnt met her after two years. I'd go to the party and let him be miserable on his own. Is this the way your future together is going to be??? him telling you what you can and cant do? stuff that.

It's your Grandmothers 80th Birthday and you have to be there, I mean it's a very special occassion. He is the one being unreasonable. I mean just re-schedule with your friends is it really [i:2wzl7kzw]that[/i:2wzl7kzw] big a deal??? The fact that he hasn't met her yet isn't the point & it's an extremely selfish attitude for him to have, seriously tell him to grow up and get over himself.

Its your granny so you are definately not being unreasonable.