Am i just being Hormonal

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Happy Mammie Posts: 1507
A bit of back ground. Myself and my sister havent spoke since jan. She has a terrible attitude and started shouting at me for nothing. i asked her did she want a drink with her dinner about 20 mins after her shouting at me and she ignored me. There was no big fight or anything. My Dh and family think she is jelous that im pregnant. But my mam has gone cold on me. She only phones me when my sis isent in the house. My Dh was in hospital for 3 weeks and she never called to see him or offer to help me with my 2 ds's. So the other day she annonced she was going on holidays 2 days before my due date. And im really upset. She has gone from wanting to be in the delivery room with me on my 2 ds's ( which she wasent) to not wanting to be in the same country on this baby. I feel if things were ok between me and my sis she wouldent be going on holidays around my due date. Also My sis and her Ds are going on holidays aswell. Sorry for the long post. But am i being unreasonable. Has she the right to go on holidays when she want? Dont think i explained myself properly. What i want to know is have i the right to be mad that my mam is going on hoildays 2 days before my due date.
Wife09 Posts: 873
Yea its not really your place to decide when she goes on hols. Im very close to my sisters I wouldnt be offended if they went on hols while Im due babs. After DH they would be next who Id bring to labour with me. People have to get on with their own lives. I dont know what went on between the two with the fight but I think lifes too short to be fighting. Your poor mum must be so upset to see ye like this. I dont know what went on with your fight, you seem to say it wasnt serious so maybe its something ye can work out. Awful to loose friendship with your sister since ye were so close.
Happy Mammie Posts: 1507
Thanks for replying wife09 i dont really care that my sis will be on holidays when im due its my mam that im freaked over. My sis treats everyone like crap. all she has to do is appologise. she has also ignored my boys if i call to my mams or if we meet in my nans.
OAT Posts: 2207
Well you did ask in your first post if we think your sister has the right to go on holiday when she wants or did I get that bit wrong??? Your sister is a grown woman with her own life - of course she has the right to holiday whenever she wants regardless of whats going on with family members! My Sis asked me would it be safe enought to booka holiday 2 weeks after my due date and I laughed at her, It was really nice of her to consider me and babs but I would expect her to postpone or delay holidays just for me, the baby will still be there when she gets back. Have you tried talking to your sister again? Maybe an email if you don't want to confront her?
Happy Mammie Posts: 1507
Im sorry i must have not explained myself properly. Its my mam im going mad over. That she is going on holiday when im due. I really couldent care less where my sister will be. I just feel let down my mam has booked her holiday 2 days before im due.
OAT Posts: 2207
Sorry I thought you meant your sister, but I still think the same applies to your Mum...I know you'd liker her to be here but when you look at it from her point of view, the way hospitals are these days she'll probbaly have to wait until you get home with babs before she can visit and even thenyou'll be tired etc. Baby will still be there when you get back and you'll be in more of a routine by the time she gets home. She might think she's doing you a favour of not getting in the way and letting you establish a routine etc
galway07 Posts: 660
I agree with you Happie Mammy - I don`t think it`s right for your Mam to go on holidays anywhere near your due date. I would expect a granny to be around when babs is born (especially the woman`s mother). It would be nice to get a bit of help with your other two children both before and after the birth. I would expect her to be bursting to see you and the new baby in the hospital. I would expect that you would be able to call on her to bring something into the hospital/ mind the other two so your DH can visit you in peace. It`s a big deal having a baby and I would think that she should want to be around for it - both to help and to share in the excitement. Hope I`m not making you feel bad, but it`s definatley not hormones. Maybe she has been swayed by your sister to go at this time - I think you need to get it off your chest and express your disapointment to her. I`m very surprised by other posters reactions I have to say.
im waiting Posts: 2727
I understand why upset. It's your mum after all, you probably want her around for when you go into labour for support or even to be available to help you with your LO's. I'm not sure what the circumstances actually are but if my mum was so keen to be at the births of my 2 children , knows when my due date is and suddenly books a holiday away 2 days before I'm due I would be thinking it's a bit weird alright! BUT maybe she feels a bit put out, like she's not wanted or that you don't care if she's around for the birth of your children as you said she wasn't at the birth of your other 2 children so maybe she thinks you don't mind if she goes away. I can't imagine she's going away on purpose so she won't be around for the birth of your baby because she doesn't care, I can't imagine a mum would do that! Maybe she feels like you can cope on your own and that you don't need her help, not in a bad way but just that you can cope with your DH's help. I don't think she would do it to hurt you. Maybe sit down and have a chat with her and maybe ask her why she booked a holiday away so close to your due date. It would put your mind at ease somewhat but I honestly can't imagine she did it to Annoy you. HTH :lvs
Wife09 Posts: 873
Sorry hun, I thought you meant your sister. Yea I can understand you being upset at your Mammy not being around. If she is avoiding you, yes thats not nice. I could be totally wrong but I think Mammy's after they have had a few grandchildren get a bit complacint about these things . Espec that its 3rd baba she has seen you cope well. My mum has 13 grandchildren . I know she been on hols for birth of 1 or 2 of the kiddies. Not to annoy or spite anyone but just because thats when they wanted to go away or got a good deal and sometimes I hear my mum going on that people think she has nothing to do accept mind her grandchildren. So maybe its this. You dont really need these upsets during pregnancy, even if you dont like it try try to let go and get on with things for your own sake.
maman Posts: 297
Hi girls, I thing i would be raging if my mam did this. However, im waiting on LO No1 so maybe its different for granny once you get to No. 3. To me it sounds like your mam has sided with your sister on this one. The fact that she is avoiding you and confrontation isnt right. You should definitely talk to her (calmly) and let her know the way you are feeling, it could all be a storm in a teacup. Better out than in as they say. Im sure everything will seem a whole lot better once you talk to your mam. Chin up and take care x