Am I wrong ?

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MummyLuv Posts: 2478
Hi girls I really need a bit of advice here, I had future SIL on the phone last night driving me nuts as usual and she said to me that she thinks that we should start trying for a baby on our honeymoon (so that her kids will have someone to play with when they come to visit :shock: ) The problem is that I don't want a baby just yet I'm only 27 and was in college for 8 years, this is the first year where I've had my life to myself and I want to get to enjoy being married and getting to travel etc for a while b4 we try for a baby. Please don't get me wrong I adore kids and will be so happy when I am pg just I don't want it yet. When I told her this she called me selfish and started going on about how I'd regret it if we had trouble concieving later on, she really upset me esp cuz I have a good friend who is desperately trying for a baby and I know how upsetting and hard it has been every month for her when she's got a BFN. Am I wrong in wanting to wait and do you think I'm selfish am so upset by this was in floods last night over it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
RD Posts: 146
Bambie06, Personally I'd tell your future sil to keep her nose out! When to start a family is a decision that you & your h2b will decide on - when the time is right for you both. You shouldn't feel pressurised into it just cause it suits your future SIL now. You've plenty of years ahead of you for a family if travelling and other things are what you want to do first then go with that. Perhaps you should ask your h2b to have a quiet word with his sister if you don't feel like saying anything to her yourself. Enjoy the run up to the wedding, it will be the best day of your life & you don't need this extra worry on top. RD
clucky Posts: 26471
Bambi pet tell her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine - so hers will have someone to play with - where do we get these sis-in-laws2b? :roll: the cheek of her tell her the average age of a woman having her first child now is between 25-30 and you are in no rush to tie yourself down - i can't understand that idea of trying on your honeymoon - i am hoping to ttc at leeast a year after we are married - want to enjoy first year of married life before all the pittar-patter questions you are definitely not wrong in wanting to wait at all. send her over to me and i will sort her out
yadayada Posts: 1066
Princess Cinders Posts: 11475
Bambi I think she is sticking her nose in where it is not wanted. Only you and your h2b can make the decision when to start ttc and I think the excuse that she was using so her kids would have someone to play with is :twisted:
mila Posts: 698
It's completely inappropriate for SIL (or anyone else) to be commenting on your personal life. I think it is particularly manipulative to suggest that you may have problems conceiving. Of course you're not being selfish - it's a huge decision, and it's [i:31zkb2sv]your[/i:31zkb2sv] life! It's nobody else's business. We're sort of in the same boat - ever since we passed our first wedding anniversary, there have been numerous hints dropped by various family members. When we got married, we both agreed that we wanted a few years on our own first - like yourself, we'd both spent many years in college, and like our life as it is for now. I'm really looking forward to having children, but we will start trying when [i:31zkb2sv]WE[/i:31zkb2sv] feel ready.
Calendar Girl Posts: 567
My sister always says the same to me "if you don't hurry up my kids will be all grown and they won't want to play with yours when were away" my response is "I'm just waiting on your kids to be a little older so I can get them to mind my kids when we go away" :D Seriously though tell her to rev up and F**k OFF!
yadayada Posts: 1066
[quote:3561dv4l]tell her to rev up and F**k OFF![/quote:3561dv4l] I haven't heard that phrase in years :lol: :lol: :lol:
MrsC2B Posts: 500
Oh it sounds like she's really trying to get at you - if I remember correctly you two don't see eye to eye? In any case, that is really unfair of her. Not easy but if you can, try to rise above it and don't feel you have to explain your/DHs personal choices to her or anyone else for that matter. When you start trying for a baby is your business alone. Nobody should feel in a position to comment or make any suggestions to you on that front. Chin up, forget about the baby stuff until yourself and DH decide otherwise and enjoy this time where its just the two of you. There will be plenty time for pitter patter in the years ahead - take it from a 35 year old on her first and not sorry to have waited. Ignore or if possible smile through any jibes from your SIL - that'll be more effective than you getting upset and responding. She might then get the message that being nasty doesn't work with you. She must be a very unhappy girl to feel she needs to hurt/upset you in such a way, what a shame. Maybe you could be the bigger person here and try chatting to her to see if there is any reason she's being the way she is, she might need somebody to talk to and its always helpful to get on with your inlaws, particularly for your DHs sake.
MummyLuv Posts: 2478
Thanks girls your answers have really helped, I was so upset last night and poor H2B couldn't really understand why (men !!!) He has said he will have a word with her and tell her to F off himself, he couldn't believe that she had called me selfish and he was really angry but though I was a silly mare for crying over it :oops: It so difficult with her as she spends her whole time butting in and at the moment I say nothing because the wedding is getting close and the last thing I need is her with a face on her, but this time she really got to me Can't stick her :(