Anyone finding perineal massage sore?

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MrsB2011 Posts: 271
Just wondering if I/my DH are doing something wrong. I've been told its meant to sting but not hurt. We've tried it about 8 times so far. The first few times were ok-ish but the last couple of times it's too painful. I've no idea why. I'm just over 37 weeks, the head is very low, I'm wondering could that have something to do with it?? Really want to put the effort in to avoid tearing/episiotomy, but it' starting to cause more stress than it might be worth. Anyone else finding it difficult, or easy and if so have you any tips??!
MissSindyhead Posts: 560
Finding it very difficult. Really dislike it and only attempting it every second night :-8 . I'll be sorry no doubt!
Princess09 Posts: 821
[quote="MrsB2011":21g6qvby]Just wondering if I/my DH are doing something wrong. I've been told its meant to sting but not hurt.[/quote:21g6qvby] This is good news for me and hubby, tried it for 2nd time recently and it was stinging, I thot that was not right! It is awful but it will be so worth it if it reduces tearing! To be honest I think it depends on the instructions, cos I remember laughing (how naive) with a friend who was pregnant (I was too but v early weeks and didn't know I was :-8 ) But anyway when we were discussing I thot it sounded like a completely different process!! I'm going by Gentlebirth guide book instructions, or more like hubby is going by that, and it makes sense but does sting! One thing that seemed to distract me the last time we done it I was watching telly, so it helped me relax a bit more, so it was less sore, that will be the key for this and labour to relax and breath, sounds easy right!
Daff Posts: 11644
i used to do it in bed watching tv with evening primrose oil, DH never helped though - certain things I like to keep to myself :o0 I would sit up in the bed with pillows supporting me behind then I'd leavn to one side. I'd use the thumb on the opposite side I was leaning too to rub the area. Just pushing down on the skin on the outside. It would sting and after a while felt like bruising. I never did it on dd1 and had a 2nd degree tear. I did it 6 out of 7 nights a week from 32 weeks on dd2. In labour I was told that from the scar I already had from tear that I was highly likely to tear again and nothing could be done - I didn't tear though!
Princess09 Posts: 821
[quote="lovemybaby":2a29c74p] I never did it on dd1 and had a 2nd degree tear. I did it 6 out of 7 nights a week from 32 weeks on dd2. In labour I was told that from the scar I already had from tear that I was highly likely to tear again and nothing could be done - I didn't tear though![/quote:2a29c74p] That's a good enough reason to keep it going! Thanks for sharing! :thnk Although I've only done it twice @ 38 weeks, need to keep onto hubby to give a helping hand! Although in fairness he usually asks me every night and I usually say, tomorrow night for def!
twoboys Posts: 320
Sometimes having a bath before doing it can make it more comfortable. The key is to get used to breathing through the stretch instead of tensing up (which is what we normally do when something stings). Warming up the oil can help too.
lush11 Posts: 2877
I could never manage to do it when i was pregnant - very bloody awkward if you ask me. Didnt matter a thing cos i needed a suction and l got a few stitches from the episitomy. Anything was worth tryin at the time though.
MrsB2011 Posts: 271
Thanks everyone, it's reassuring to know it's not that easy in general. Princess I am also following gentlebirth but didn't think to check the guidebook, will defo do that. Off topic, but how are you finding GB? You reckon your hospital will let you approach labour the way you want to, or to their schedule? Anyway, I think I am just a bit confused as to what I am meant to be doing. I looked it up online and found what seemed to be a very good guide, but my midwife mentioned in passing that it's only the outside that you massage, but the guide says to put thumbs/fingers inside and then gently pull down and out in a u-shape. Hmmm, will keep trying, would love to avoid tearing. Thanks again everyone
Dancing Queen Posts: 2591
I had my daughter 11 yrs ago and I don't think this was ever mentioned to me at all, I haven't even tried TBH. :-8 When I had Dd I thought I was ripped to bits but I didn't need any stitches or had no tears at all. I tried really hard to avoid pushing when they said to stop, the panting helped a lot. Going to try the same this time. Please God I'll have the same outcome!
holdingouthope Posts: 177
Have yet to do this but when I read up on it, if sounded really complicated, especially with a bump! However a midwife told me recently you just massage the outside!! Hope that helps!