Are some men missing a sensitivity gene?

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Mama2b! Posts: 131
Maybe it's because i'm incredibly hormonal today and just looking at anything with a baby in it makes me cry. Anyway, DH rang me today and asked what I thought about him putting his name down for a game in a fantastic golf course around the end of the month our baby will be born. After laughing it off I got really upset because I figured if our baby is 1 or 2 weeks late, that would be the week or close to it! Eitherway, and God willing, we'll have a newborn on our hands, even if the child came earlier. Why does he think it's ok to slip off playing golf and enjoying himself when i'm expected to know how to take care of a new child!! We're having such a good laugh together during this time and even closer in our relationship so why is he even bringing this up knowing what i'd really think. It's not a puppy for goodness sake, it's his first child! >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o( >:o(
Crostini Posts: 1105
is it just the 1 day? usually takes what about 5 hours to get around a golf course? don't think it's that bad...but then again it's not me! if it bothers you defo say it to him.
Mama2b! Posts: 131
No, sorry it's the Saturday and Sunday of that week so he'd be gone until Sunday night playing the tournament. I'm just saying, I can't decide when baby is going to arrive...if it was early that week and I was coming home from the hospital, what would i do?? It just gets me that the men can swan off as they please and it's us that have to make the adjustments and compromises!!
Crostini Posts: 1105
ah ok so it's a weekend. i'd explain to him that lots of women are more than likely to go a week to 10 days over and you'd prefer for him to be around for those 2 weeks. he can go golfing any other weekend. also explain that as you'll most likely be very sore etc, you will need lots of help for the first few weeks.
Emme Posts: 4735
think we're a little over sensitive and they're a bit thick. The thing is we haven't been able to do what we want for a long time now, we have to think of babs from the minute we see that line appear whereas their lives go on as normal so they're not as tuned into having to think of someone else who doesn't exist yet. I'm sure if you did have your baby around then there wouldn't be a cats chance in hell of him going off to playing golf.
FirstTimeDad Posts: 79
Hmmm, you see the thing is he did ask... Would it be ok??... In a blokes head it's ok to ask these sort of questions, if you say you'd prefer him not to go, he'd be ok with that. We need to be told these things, we will not and do not instinctively know these things, we are not deliberately being insensitive, its just the way our minds work... baby due begining of month, golf game end of month, ask if it would be ok, never consider the consequences, thats the thought (or lack of) process!!! Please try not to freak out and let fly at him about being insensitive, that will not have occured to him, and it will just cause both of you alot of heartache. When he asks you this sort of question, he wants you to instruct him as to possible reasons why he should not go... Once explained he'll be happy out!!
Emme Posts: 4735
[quote="FirstTimeDad":2x5oisg3] When he asks you this sort of question, he wants you to instruct him as to possible reasons why he should not go... Once explained he'll be happy out!![/quote:2x5oisg3] are you my husband?!!!! I get this the whole time. 'we're thick, we need to be told'. Thing is during one of my tantrums a few weeks ago I was finally able to put words to what I was feeling. I wanted DH to know the right thing to do before asking. I hate asking for help, it's not the person I am and I hate having to depend on someone but I need help, and I need to depend on him more but I feel like sh*te having to ask even though it makes DH so happy when I do. See we want you to just know these things and ye want us to tell you so somewhere in the middle the tears start!
FirstTimeDad Posts: 79
[quote:1wf0u00v]See we want you to just know these things and ye want us to tell you so somewhere in the middle the tears start![/quote:1wf0u00v] Sorry Emme, I'm afraid it really is the way our brains are wired... That's the joy of hetrosexual relationships ;o)
Emme Posts: 4735
ah don't apologise..I'm not saying we're paragons of sanity!
FirstTimeDad Posts: 79
Rule 1: A pregnant woman is ALWAYS right. Rule 2: When a pregnant woman is ever wrong see Rule 1.... Lets call a spade a spade here, I'll freely admit that for the next few months until December, I will be the most insensitive pig that ever walked the face of the planet [b:wvvz9d7s]OR[/b:wvvz9d7s] the nicest, kindest most helpful and considerate man ever born, depending on mood swing....