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mrsmoo2202 Posts: 1930
apologies in advance as this could be quite long :zzzz: have a few questions i would love some opinions on. so, OH and me have been talking the last while about getting married, then 2 weeks ago he brings me on a surprise trip into Breretons and tells me to choose a few rings i like. of course i fell in love with one that was 8,500 :ooh however that is just way out of budget, and have found an antique ring for 4.500, and hopefully if we get our wedding rings from there we can have a little leeway. we've been saving like mad for the last year, so when i suggested we used some of that money for them, he was a little put out as he wanted to buy it himself. i'd have no problem using our money, as why should he have to pay for something that is 1/4 of our wedding budget by himself, i know it's tradition he buys it, but seeing as it's something i'd be wearing and part of our wedding day i feel we should both pay, he see's my point but i can tell he's still a bit put out. anyone else paid for part of their own ring? or would anyone consider it? i just feel seeing as we're both saving for the wedding and paying for it all ourselves, it's only fair. the ring is still in Breretons, the jeweller has been re-setting the stone as i didn't like the band, so he's re-making it for me, and OH's plan is to re-propose slightly more romantically :heartbeat: basically very few people know what we're up to!! our parents have an idea from what we've been saying, a few close friends and some out of town family who need the advance notice to save up and travel here. we wanted to know exactly what we wanted and when we wanted to do it before we told everyone. we decided last night on a date, it's 2 years away but we see that will give us enough time to save what we need for the day. we;ve set our budget at 20K for absolutely everything, rings(engagement and wedding) honeymoon and all the extras, and i've been told i can research as much wedding stuff as i like (but can only tell him about it once a week as he's going insane already :yelrotflmaosmilie: ) now all i have to do it wait for my new ring, nad try not to tell anyone what we're up to just yet, which'll be hard for me as i'm crap at keeping secrets :o0
seedee Posts: 1017
you're buying it either way? well, why dont you just let him get it to save his pride, and then you put a bit more to the wedding to balance it out. ps what does it look like? im FINALLY collecting mine today and i cant WAIT to get to wear it :o)ll
mrsmoo2202 Posts: 1930
cos he got made redundant last year, and now that he's working again, but in not such a high paid job, i don't want to put the extra pressure on him as he has 2 mortgages to pay aswell, thats why we started saving for all this, and i don't think it's fair for him to pay almost 5K for a ring!! i know i could look again, but when you fall in love with something... :lvs and it's a 1CT princess cut solataire in platinum, simple but i've always wanted that and i :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: it!!
teapotty Posts: 2085
I think pride is probably a major thing to guys for something like this. It's sort of the one totally common exception to the modern "we share everything 50:50" attitude that most couples have. If he'd like to buy it all with his money then I'd say let him. When you pick a dress that's way out of your budget you can pick up the extra cost of that yourself :o0 :o0 :o0
PeaPod Posts: 583
We paid for our ring together. I had always said that I want to pick my own ring so when the time was right he could get me a token ring and we'd pick and pay for the other one together. I think I woulda been waiting a while for my OH to save for a 5 grand ring, he's useless with money :o0
seedee Posts: 1017
[quote="moobride":16vvza74]cos he got made redundant last year, and now that he's working again, but in not such a high paid job, i don't want to put the extra pressure on him as he has 2 mortgages to pay aswell, thats why we started saving for all this, and i don't think it's fair for him to pay almost 5K for a ring!! i know i could look again, but when you fall in love with something... :lvs and it's a 1CT princess cut solataire in platinum, simple but i've always wanted that and i :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat: it!![/quote:16vvza74] sorry, i thought you already had it bought? did you say the jeweller is in the process of resetting it for you? he must have the money ready if you're at that stage now? it doesnt really matter who pays now and who pays later, its all your money now! if you cover more bills, while he pays off the ring, or save more, to balance it out, would it not be the same as paying for some of it now? im a little confused.
Blossom Cherry Posts: 2701
I think if he wants to pay for it then leave him - you can throw an extra few bob into the savings when you can. I totally know what you are saying about falling in love with the ring. :lvs :lvs Be sure to post a pic on the engagment ring thread when you get it! :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll Happy sparklying !!! Oh and CONGRATS on your engagement :o)ll
Snuffy Posts: 1492
Yeah I paid towards mine. Wasn't as much as half or anything, but a couple of hundred anyway. He has said his budget was x amount and I said fine, we'll look at ring in and around that, but that if we fell in love with one over budget then I said I would pay the rest. Worked for us!
Blossom Cherry Posts: 2701
I re-read your post and am a little confused..... So you saw a ring in Beretons and fell in love but that was over budget so you got an antique ring and are Beretons resetting that for you?
mrsmoo2202 Posts: 1930
[quote="Sparkly winterbride":yaepyh4g]I re-read your post and am a little confused..... So you saw a ring in Beretons and fell in love but that was over budget so you got an antique ring and are Beretons resetting that for you?[/quote:yaepyh4g] i'm sorry i tend to talk in circles so i've probably even confused myself!! the jeweller was showing us all his princess cut rings, the one i originally wanted was over budget. he showed me a different one, an antique one he was selling, but i didn't like the band so he's re-setting the stone into another band. think that might make sense now, sorry about that!