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anonlucy Posts: 16
thanks for all your help - I've calmed down a lot so decided to delete the original post just incase someone who knows the situation sees it.
Trillian Posts: 1685
She can have who she wants as a BM in fairness, but on the other stuff? She actually asked you to buy her cake? And borrow your tiara? Did she do any of the invite/booklet stuff for you? Say no, but nicely. (I'm a bridezilla about my taira, no way is anyone getting that.)
fulham_bride Posts: 62
[quote:36eoca08]I had 4 bridesmaids and was told by my mother I had to have her[/quote:36eoca08] Sounds like you didnt want her as a bridesmaids but just didnt stand up to your mother on this point. Why should she ask you if you only asked her cos your ma told you to? It might be a bit much of her to expect you to make her invites and pay for stuff etc but she is just engaged, maybe she is just a bit excited and thinks her sister would be happy for her. More fool her it seems.
ladyandthetramp Posts: 411
Ah that was not very nice of her, but think of it this way if she uses the same colour dresses as you and wears your tiara, her wedding will be very similar to yours and people will notice!!!! :o0 she will look the fool. Thats very hurtful that she didnt ask you and asked someone she doesnt like, maybe ask her why she didnt ask you, maybe she thought you were sick of weddings since you only just got married and thought she would save you the bother of another wedding to help out, but then again she is asking you to do alot! i do think you are right to be pee'd off though, maybe in a few months when she turns into bridezilla, picks ugly dresses, you mitel be delighted you werent asked!!
anonlucy Posts: 16
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anonlucy Posts: 16
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ladyandthetramp Posts: 411
Hi, thats a bit cheeky expecting you to pay for the stuff too!! my sister who is my bridesmaid is buying the cake but only cos i asked to get it in M&S so it wouldnt cost her the earth! i would tell her your not paying for it all, buy her the cake as a present and tell her your budget. and tell her you will get the stuff for the invitations and you want the money, you have just got married and she should know that it costs so much tell her you have no money, whether its true or not is none of her business and she shouldnt be putting you under pressure. jesus id hate to see what she has the chief brides maid doing :o0 ah it will all blow over soon, but i would stand up to her. good luck
fulham_bride Posts: 62
[quote:tgr08eey]to make her invitations, mass booklet and buy her wedding cake for her.[/quote:tgr08eey] [quote:tgr08eey]I have never been a bridesmaid before and would love this as a new project to work on.[/quote:tgr08eey] She asked you to help and you sounded annoyed by it. Seems you only want to help if it suits you. It doesnt sound so bad that she asked you to get the cake if you have a contact in the business. If you cant afford it I am sure you could just act as a go-between for her to get a good deal. As for her copying your wedding i really dont see the big deal. Most wedding dresses are similar looking and if she is choosing the same suppliers she obviously thought that they were good, should she choose second best just because you got there first? As for borrowing stuff, if you dont want to lend it say no. Dont complain that your mother over-indulges her if you are not willing to say no to her either. It sounds like maybe you resent a little the attention shifting to your sister now your day is over.
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
I think it's really cheeky that she has asked you to pay for stuff. Wouldn't dream of asking anyone else to pay for my wedding stuff!
nelly Posts: 1875
[quote="fulham_bride":hud40qqj][quote:hud40qqj]to make her invitations, mass booklet and buy her wedding cake for her.[/quote:hud40qqj] [quote:hud40qqj]I have never been a bridesmaid before and would love this as a new project to work on.[/quote:hud40qqj] She asked you to help and you sounded annoyed by it. Seems you only want to help if it suits you. It doesnt sound so bad that she asked you to get the cake if you have a contact in the business. If you cant afford it I am sure you could just act as a go-between for her to get a good deal. As for her copying your wedding i really dont see the big deal. Most wedding dresses are similar looking and if she is choosing the same suppliers she obviously thought that they were good, should she choose second best just because you got there first? As for borrowing stuff, if you dont want to lend it say no. Dont complain that your mother over-indulges her if you are not willing to say no to her either. It sounds like maybe you resent a little the attention shifting to your sister now your day is over.[/quote:hud40qqj] You are a little on the blunt side but i have to agree with everything you say.