Asking for advice - then ignoring it

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notlongtogo Posts: 5040
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mad woman Posts: 22106
families eh? and inch and a mile...
Yellow Elley Posts: 1522
O:| I hear ya! my h2b is a HGV mechanic but friends and relation still annoy him to do small jobs (which end up being big!) and wanting him to source good deals on cars even though he doesn't work with cars O:| Not sure what advice to give you, I can't believe your family don't see that they are taking advantage of his good nature. I'd say the only way to sort it out is to say it out straight that he has far better thing to be doing
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Inch and a mile is right. Next time somebody rings, could ye not tell them that H2B's work is clamping down on this type of thing and they will have to go through the garage? If it's only a creak, they will think twice when they realise they will have to pay for it.
Missus Lippy Posts: 5879
Sorry, H2B should read DH, I get so used to typing it for myself that I think everybody is the same!
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
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Mama Dora Posts: 14987
And im sure his services are expected free of charge >:o( Like FFS how does the bread and butter get on the table???? The cheek of some people,family or not its just plain rude O:|
Moet for me Posts: 1841
that is mean I'd tell your dh to say he's too busy a few times
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
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stompy9 Posts: 227
That's really taking advantage. The occasional favour is fine but not that extent! Tell your DH to absolutely NOT take time off work to help them - presumably he needs to get his hours done like everyone else so that's really unfair on him. So if they ask for help, perhaps he could offer a few hours the next weekend that he's available - eg "I'm busy the next two weekends but might have an hour or two on the Saturday morning the weekend after". Then if another family member rings, "Busy this weekend and next, looking at x's car weekend after, might have a bit of time the following weekend (or the one after that)"? Are you any better at standing up to them than he is? (It's often harder to be firm with in-laws for fear of upsetting them, whereas sometimes you can speak more firmly when it's your own family?). Perhaps he could say that he has plans with the missus and they'd need to check with you first before he could committ his time to other things, and pass the phone to you? Makes him sound a bit under the thumb I know, but worth giving that impression in order to wriggle out of being roped into helping yet again. Also do they have any strengths they can help you out with? eg "Sure DH would be able to help you out for a few hours next weekend, but I have a favour to ask in return, we're [painting house or whatever] and as DH will be losing some of his weekend to help you, perhaps you could make up to him by helping us for a couple of hours....". (Mind you, they'd probably be worse than useless - but at least it'd make the point that there should be some give-and-take, and might make you feel a bit better? Even if they just managed to make a cup of tea for those doing the work, it would be something...) Families, eh? So troublesome....