Bad reaction from family to pregnancy

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

anotherbabs Posts: 10
Hi, Did anyone not receive good response to pregnancy? My mum has recently had cancer but has been over her treatmeant a few months now but she did not react well to my new pregnancy as she feels I was she has enough to worry about as I have had previous complications and a loss? I am really upset as we are really close and now I feel guilty was I selfish please be brutally honest x
Mrs Stewart Posts: 443
Gosh.. being brutally honest, I think your Mum is being the selfish one. Really bad form for her not to be happy for you. Her Worrying about you is her business, you can't be in control or responsible for that & furthermore you can't put your life on hold cos your mum had cancer. I am really surprised at her reaction to be honest. I announced my pregnancy 6 weeks after my brother died tragically & thankfully got nothing but best wishes from everyone especially my parents. Granted its my first pregnancy & I've not had any problems but I think your Mum needs a rethink & owes you & your partner an apology. Do you feel you could talk to her about it? I'm sorry she hasn't been more supportive, congratulations & best of luck with the pregnancy. Xx
Hbombadero Posts: 1960
I agree that your mum is being unkind. When you say you had complications if you were advised to wait or not to have a baby then perhaps she's entitled to feel worried but short of that I can't see how you've done anything wrong.
bee0606 Posts: 691
Maybe she doesn't want to get her hopes up and get too excited too early because of your previous complications? Did she react differently the first time?
baby_elite Posts: 108
Your mum will see sense soon. I doubt she meant to be unkind, but allowed her worry for you to overshadow what a wonderful time this is. She has been through the mill with her cancer I presume & probably wanted things to remain normal for a while. Your disappointment is totally normal though & I would tell your mother that you feel that way. Hopefully she will apologise. Try not to let it get you down & look after yourself x
HeatherF Posts: 105
Just to play devil's advocate, I think your Mum is just worried about you. Remember that you are *her* baby, and it must be hard for your Mum to hear that you are putting yourself through something that could potentially harm you. I'm sure she'll realise that this is what you want, but she's your Mum, so she's going to worry about you.
anotherbabs Posts: 10
Thank you all for your messages I feel somewhat better this is my third pregnancy my first Lil girl died at 27 weeks and my second pregnancy went very well and my lg is the light in my mums life so maybe that's why I was so taken back my mum is not good for change at all though x
70schick Posts: 201
Congrats on your pregnancy, it's wonderful news for you and your partner after all you have been through. I can relate to how you are feeling as my mother was very cool when I announced my 2nd pregnancy to her. Her attitude was linked to worrying about us financially but mostly due to her dealing with her own grief over a family bereavement. I think she felt so overwhelmed with her own emotions that she could not be happy for us in the traditional grandmother to be sense if you know what I mean. Sadly, that pregnancy ended in miscarriage and I honestly think she was somewhat indifferent that that happening. We have since had another child and she was much more positive during that pregnancy. It's virtually impossible to imagine the emotions she is experiencing since her own health issues as cancer is such a private illness. In saying that though it is impossible to forget how let down you feel when your own mother does not show excitement for her daughters pregnancy. In her defence, she will probably show it when your baby arrives. Try not to get too upset, I know that's hard too, in her own way she will eventually come around. Take care of yourself :lvs :lvs
1