being spoilt

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funkychunky Posts: 205
my ex used to spoil me rotten, anything i wanted i got, the house was fabulous with things that he bought that i couldn't afford but really wanted. we went out all the time, had a fabulous lifestyle! I left all that back in January and am trying to survive on my wages, jsut got my own apartment, am paying a loan etc, its tight but i'm managing. met a new fella recently and he's been laid off so money is tight with him too. i'm really adjusting to my life now and learning to depend on myself and no one else, if i don't have money i don't have money and its been really hard! i'm staying in most weekends too because i have to save for a night out and i don't mind one bit! money cannot buy happiness i've been reading other threads and wol's saying that their OH brought them to new york on a shopping spree etc, big gestures. how do you think you'd cope if he couldn't do that, do the big gestures really matter to you? I've learned that they don't!
Hins Posts: 940
You see, defining 'big gestures' can vary from person to person. It's about what and how the gestures make you feel.
funkychunky Posts: 205
[quote="Hins":22gt11mp]You see, defining 'big gestures' can vary from person to person. It's about what and how the gestures make you feel.[/quote:22gt11mp] I mostly mean money, my ex used to bring me away for weekends and he spent a small fortune on my engagement ring, he would think nothing of spending 200 on a night out etc., birthday presents were very extravagant. my new fella, as he's out of work, does more for me by being thoughtful, like lighting candles and having a bath ready for when i get home, makes me my favourite meals etc. they honestly mean more to me than the big money gestures although i will admit i loved it at the time. its weird how my life has had a complete turnaround. this time last year i was engaged, had our house perfect, wanted for nothing and now i'm in a tiny flat scrimping and saving but it feels good all the same
juicykay Posts: 124
Everyone can learn to live with out the "fabulous" things in life! But i mean if you can have that "fabulous" thing every once in a while and esp if ye have worked hard to save for a holiday or what ever it might be then i don't see why not splash out on it .. Don't get me wrong i understand where your coming from, you've went from getting anything you wanted to not been able to have it anymore! one of life lessons ... and im glad you see that material things aren't everything. me personally I'd survive just fine with out the "finer things in life"
funkychunky Posts: 205
[quote="juicykay":3g0q6rrs] But i mean if you can have that "fabulous" thing every once in a while and esp if ye have worked hard to save for a holiday or what ever it might be then i don't see why not splash out on it .. "[/quote:3g0q6rrs] thats what i was trying to say! i'm working hard for everything i have right now and it feels so good to do so! rather than getting it handed to me!
juicykay Posts: 124
:o)ll fair play to you girlie !!!
cremebrulee Posts: 8546
ha ha, h2b was teasing me last night about being spoilt. I was trying to get him to get out of bed to get me a drink (i was being a lazy bitch) and he was like "oh no, you're far too spoilt" and i was like "no, if i was spoilt you'd get it for me!". :o0 but anyway, getting back to the actual topic... i don't think there is anything wrong with "big gestures" if you can afford it. they can mean a lot too... it's all about the thought someone puts into it really - irregardless of cost!
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
My h2b brought me to new york for my birthday last year but it was the only holiday we had and we don't really go out that much. Being spoilt is great when your flush but being spoilt to me know could be a cup of tea and a foot run from himself so everything falls into perspective, if you have it you have it and if you don't you don't. I met my h2b in the height of the celtic tiger and now wer are in a recession it hasn't changed our feelings for eachother one bit?
MsCabbage Posts: 674
I'd have to be honest and say I love having a nice lifestyle. Don't get me wrong I'm not the richest person by any means but I believe that I deserve the nice things that I have and I don't feel bad about that. If things were to chnage (and they could) I would be ok, like I wouldn't have a breakdown or anything but I believe dh and I work hard and we have earned the things we have
funkychunky Posts: 205
[quote="MsCabbage":1argb2r4]I'd have to be honest and say I love having a nice lifestyle. Don't get me wrong I'm not the richest person by any means but I believe that I deserve the nice things that I have and I don't feel bad about that. If things were to chnage (and they could) I would be ok, like I wouldn't have a breakdown or anything but I believe dh and I work hard and we have earned the things we have[/quote:1argb2r4] Oh don't get me wrong, I enjoyed everything i got and had, i guess i'm just venting really and there is a lot to be said for working hard and saving for what you want, makes you enjoy it all the more. i was definitely spoilt! i worked and got my own stuff paid for holidays and stuff but not as much as the ex did, guess it just means more to me now. like when i bought my ghd, i saved for weeks and got such satisfaction from buying it :o0