Being unreasonable?

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Galgirl1 Posts: 48
A week before our wedding, the guy who works with my fiancé asks can he bring his 10 year old child to the wedding.My fiancé didn't answer straight away as he knew we had the table plan done.I said no way, I don't know this child we already have 14 nieces and nephews none of my other friends are bringing their children.My fiancé asked could someone not mind him that he would be bored. Yesterday, big blow up they are now not coming to the wedding because we don't want the child there, they had bought an outfit and all and were planning to stay on a few days( this was not mentioned when asking).Im raging, my fiancé is upset, he told him bring him with him if it means that much but they are refusing.Were we being unreasonable not to agree straight away, plus I don't think the other people who were sitting at the table would appreciate a child there.They all have children too why does he get special treatment.
sabss2014 Posts: 124
No your not been unreasonable like a week before the wedding....if u ask me there been selfish, u get plenty of notice about weddings enough time to sort a baby sitter.....
Sunshine_30 Posts: 89
Personally I think that family should be embarrassed! I don't understand why people think they can ask to bring people to your wedding and then gett annoyed when you don't agree. If you wanted the people there then you would have invited them in the first place. Common sense knows it's not personal but for for god sake, some people just don't know when to shut up. I've had many niggly comments made at me because I'm not having children. I don't care though. Don't come if you don't want to. I've also had many comments from people (my sister included) who are delighted to be getting a night away without the kids. You haven't don't anything wrong, I assure you!
MissyM67 Posts: 337
Ah please don't let this ruin the week leading up to your wedding. You will never get this time back again. I think it's so unfair that he put your fiancé on the spot like this. We had no kids at our wedding and were lucky that people had enough cop on to realise that if we didn't invite their kids, that means they're not invited!
LilJen Posts: 11
You are definitely not being unreasonable. Give them no more thought. It's unfortunate but I'm sure you've put too much time and effort into your day to lethe it ruined by someone being thoughtless. Enjoy it!
Galgirl1 Posts: 48
Thanks everyone, we have our nieces and nephews there end of story, 14 in total. I just needed reassurance that I wasn't crazy for being mad that the couple asked in the first place.If he had said it when the invites went out not when we have given names and numbers to the hotel.For a quiet life Id have agreed.I am raging though because he won't consider our side, has just taken the huff even when he's was told bring him so I don't know now whether to include them or not.A whole lot of hassle and upset I don't need
CasualBride Posts: 574
Galgirl, I agree 100% with everyone else - we have a load of children coming because my OH has lots of nieces & nephews and I have a few, but lots of our best friends have kids and not one person has asked to bring a child, so I think HE was in the wrong, not you - my SIL's child is still quite young, so they're arranging a babysitter through the hotel, because they know he's very likely to start whinging and crying, but obviously with it being a family wedding, they have nobody left at home to babysit, so they're bringing him in theory but he won't be at much of the event, so if they can do that for a family wedding, then your OH's work colleague can definitely do it if they need to bring the child with them for whatever reason. It's infuriating when people spoil the buzz for you, it's been happening to me too, for different reasons, but my God, there's nothing like other people's selfishness to bring you down. >:o(
20thMay2017 Posts: 153
You are definetely not being crazy. I don't want a load of kids at my wedding either and have been subtley trying to persuade the sisters to get babysitters for the kids and leave them at home. I don't mind them at the ceremony but after that I'd rather they were sent home. Just heard at the weekend that the OH's cousin has decided that her 3 kids (14, 10 & 5) are being invited which they are not. She has told the future MIL that she doesn't care if they are not on the invitation that she can't get a babysitter so they'll have to come :eek :eek :eek :eek The cheek of some people!!!!!!!! I'm dispatching the OH to set the record straight and if she does arrive with them they can all eat in the bar because there won't be room for them!!!
jenny7785 Posts: 158
Can I just ask, how many of you have kids. I have a four year old and I think the more the merrier on the wedding day. My fiance old work mate asked today if they could bring their two year old as they can't get a babysitter and I didn't think twice about it. Children won't just stay with anyone while their parents go out so if the usual baby sitters aren't available they have no options. Or like me, I just like bringing my daughter with me as it's a day I'm not working and I can spend it with her. Saying that her name wasn't on the invitation for a wedding for next month, i asked if she could come, they said no kids except immediate family and that's fine aswel
aineasal Posts: 8
Can ppl with kids really not bear to be without them for a day..seriously if you want to be so close to them All the time may they should just stay at home with them altogether!!! My sil has thrown a HUGE hissy fit 'because her children arnt welcome' at out child free wedding..shes not coming and now im delighted as i wont have to look at her sour face..its sad for my h2b tho. Girl stick to your guns..its your wedding...its your cheque book..after that big rant enjoy your day