Best man: brother or friend?

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DaVita Posts: 78
can anyone advise me on this? I am having 3 bridesmaids so therefore H2B is having best man and 2 groomsmen. He has decided who to ask, his only brother and two of his good friends. Now the issue is, he is not particularly close to his brother, they get on fine, but dont have much in common, wouldnt go for a pint or anything, but he is very close to one of his friends. So would it be apporiate for him to ask his friend to be best man and brother to be groomsman? He is not too sure how to approach it. Anyone else had an issue like this?
naughty Posts: 1144
I would ask the brother to be the best man, I just feel it is right to ask your only brother. I know someone who didn't ask his brother and the parents were very upset about it. Good luck, hope it works out.
Mrs Jones Posts: 566
DH couldn't choose between his brother and best mate (and his brother is a bit useless so couldn't do it on his own) so he had them both as best men
NowGone Posts: 8042
Have three best men and divide up the jobs between them - one looks after the rings, one does the speeches and the last does MC during the speeches, or something.
TokenMale Posts: 6845
I would have no qualms about not choosing my brother. In fact, I'm not going to, and he's relieved and delighted. Personally I think it's better to have someone who knows you really well. If that's your brother, great. If it's not, go with the other person.
DaVita Posts: 78
Thats a really good idea about having 3 best men and dividing up the duties. I dont think his brother would be upset, he's not really into weddings and fuss and he would hate to have to give a speech. I think he would be relieved not to have to do anything but show up! But then you dont know for sure, people can be funny about weddings and we definitely dont want to upset anyone cos it doesnt really matter who the best man is. Just in an ideal world H2B would like best friend as best man and brother as groomsman!
shoegals Posts: 1640
If he is closer to his friend then he should have him as best man, that's what my h2b is doing, he has two brother, one he doesn't really get on with and the other he does but they wouldn't know him like his friend. BTW his brother was delighted to be groomsman and quite surprised!
puggle Posts: 848
b2b07 Posts: 230
My hubbie had his 2 brothers & 2 best friends in the wedding party and chose one of his best friends to be his best man. Although your situation is a bit different as the brother could feel left out. If it were me, to keep everyone happy, I would give the brother first refusal....
23skidoo Posts: 1272
My H2B has two potential Best Men.....such a pain in the ass! He has no brothers, but has two friends to pick between. He knows them both the same amount of time. One has been friends with him since school and he CALLS him his best friend, but I know that he is not that keen on him. This guy has had major problems over the last couple of years (physical and mental) and he is frankly really unreliable. I would doubt whether he would even show up to the wedding. I think the H2B sticks by him because he is worried about him more than anything else. He's more loyal than I think he needs to be with some people! The other guy I know much better, he's a good friend and is always there for both of us. I know we could depend on him, but the only thing is, he HATES the thought of giving a speech! He said he wouldnt do it unless someone wrote it for him! :o0 So it works out more or less the same, the first guy would give a speech, but only if he turned up! O:| Tried to convince him to pick but he's adament that he needs the two of them to be called Best Men! Sorry for hijacking your post, but I don't think that its a major problem if your H2B wants to pick a friend over his brother. Its not that big a deal, and if the brother is still a groomsman then he's still involved